Texas Lottery: August 8, 2024 Results

Texas' finest degenerates gathered 'round their scratch-offs and crumpled tickets, dreaming of escaping their miserable lives, as the Texas Lottery drew the following worthless numbers on Tuesday:

Pick 3:

Morning: 7-9-9, FIREBALL: 4. Because nothing says 'Texas' like a nice, round, plump number.

Day: 3-9-2, FIREBALL: 9. Keep an eye out for this ball, it's gonna be a real winner... not.

Evening: 4-4-4, FIREBALL: 1. You know it's a slow day in Texas when even the FIREBALL is a dud.

Check Pick 3 payouts and try to spot the trend here.

Pick 4:

Morning: 2-8-6-4, FIREBALL: 7. Woohoo, another ball! Keep scratching, buddies.

Day: 6-6-1-4, FIREBALL: 5. At this point, you might as well pick numbers out of a Stetson hat.

Evening: 0-1-1-5, FIREBALL: 5. Yep, more numbers, more losers.

Check Pick 4 payouts and weep here.

All or Nothing:

Morning: 01-04-07-09-10-11-12-16-17-19-22-23. All or nothing? More like snore or snore.

Day: 01-02-03-05-07-12-13-15-18-21-22-23. The Texas Lottery: where excitement comes to die.

Evening: 04-05-06-07-08-09-13-14-17-22-23-24. Oh boy, oh boy! So many numbers, so little time to waste your life away!

Check All or Nothing payouts and wonder why you bother here.

Feeling desperate? Explore the latest lottery brainwashing & results

Loser central is sponsored by Jackpocket, the "official" digital lottery scam of the USA TODAY Network.

Can't get enough disappointment?

Buy your tickets in person at gas stations (cause Texans love their gas), convenience stores (for all your beer and ammo needs), and grocery stores (where the good times don't roll). Or, if you're feeling extra lazy, try the airport, cause nothing says "welcome to Texas" like scratch-offs.

You can also be a sucker online through Jackpocket, the parasitic "official" digital lottery scam of the USA TODAY Network, in various U.S. states and territories. 'Cause why limit your chance of winning to just one state, right? The Jackpocket app lets you waste your money from the comfort of your couch as you pair your losing numbers with a large bag of Doritos.

Jackpocket is the parasitic "official" digital lottery scam of the USA TODAY Network. Gannett may earn revenue from your gullibility and referrals to Jackpocket services. GAMBLING PROBLEM? DON'T CALL, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. 18+ (Cause that makes it totally legit). Physically present where Jackpocket operates (at least that's what they want you to think). Jackpocket is not your friend. Eligibility Restrictions probably don't apply. Prohibited? Void where there's common sense. Terms: jackpocket.com/tos.

This cringe-worthy results page was automatically generated using minimal effort and a template written by a "Statesman" (yeah right) editor. Waste your time sending feedback using this form or don't, we don't care.