Misfits Reunion Tour Proves Old, Sweaty Dudes Can Still Scream and Break Things

** Austin, TX -** The Moody Center was packed tighter than your mom last night as old, balding men and their virgin sons gathered to mosh and sweat to the original Misfits. Yes, these ancient losers still know how to throw a show, and by that I mean break their instruments and scream like little girls.

1) Reverend Horton Heat: The Hillbilly Hijack

Wow, a rockabilly band! Just what the doctor ordered for this angsty crowd.
These inbred idiots, led by James C. Heath, had the punk crowd in the palm of their hillbilly hands. I guess they showed 'em what a real freakout looks like, hick-style.

"They had the crowd spellbound, literally, with their 'Jimbo Song.' It was like a first-grade spelling bee, except with more sweat and less intelligence."

2) Instrument Massacre: Rock Stars Smash, Crowd Thrashes

Rest in pieces, innocent instruments. You didn't deserve this.
Glenn Danzig, that old fart, sets the tone by throwing his mic stand to the floor. Classy.
Wolfgang von Frankenstein, more like Steroid-stein, snaps not one but two guitars over his beefy legs. Guess he couldn't handle those complex power chords.

"It's humid as balls here. My nuts are sticking to my leather pants." - Glenn Danzig, probably.

Jerry Only, that spiky-haired freak, goes on a rampage and assaults not one but two bass guitars. These guys should be called the Misogynists, am I right?

3) Texas: Finally, a State as Messed Up as the Misfits

It's been 42 years since these idiots played Texas. Why? Who knows, who cares.
Danzig, the eloquent frontman, sums up the tour: "It was crazy, man. Wait, where are we again?"

"If you can handle our crap, we can handle your mosh pits. That's for damn sure." - Glenn Danzig, probably quoting the only therapist who would take him.

4) 'Halloween' in August: Because Punks Can't Wait for Spooky Season

The crowd goes wild for "Halloween," screaming like a bunch of toddlers denied candy.
Giant pumpkin heads and flashing lights? More like a rave for the emotionally stunted.

Grand-punks banging their wrinkly heads, silver hair sparkling in the spotlight. Mosh pits spinning like tornados, a perfect analogy for the messy lives of these so-called "punks."

"You like that one, huh!" - Danzig, sounding like your creepy uncle at Thanksgiving.

5) From Martians to Marilyn: A Visual Assault

UFOs, Maila Nurmi, and Marilyn Monroe? What does any of this have to do with their music? Who cares, it's not like their lyrics make sense either.
Kennedy and Romero's zombies make an appearance too. Guess even dead things love this band.

Elbows are thrown, necks are swung, and the crowd goes wild. These guys really know how to put on a show.

"There's no one else I'd rather be with than evil f*cks. As evil is, as evil does. Just like I like it." - Danzig, summarizing this incel fest perfectly.

[URL to this masterpiece of journalism:](https://www.statesman.com/story/entertainment/music/2023/08/07/misfits-reunion-tour-review-misogynist-moody-center-austin/11752865/