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No-Life Loser Attempts to Ship Meth to Mate in Aussieland, Cant Even Succeed at That.
Yeah, the feds just busted some guy for trying to smuggle drugs. Surprise surprise. He tried to pull a fast one back in 2023, but the DOJ finally got their act together and caught the guy. About time, huh?
Published August 11, 2024 at 2:42pm by Julia Gomez
California Man Arrested for Shipping Enough Meth to Party With Every Woman in Australia, Now That's What I Call Equality!
A hero has fallen, ladies and gentlemen. Jing Tang Li, a 32-year-old El Monte resident, was arrested on Thursday and charged with possession and distribution of methamphetamine. Because, you know, drugs are illegal now. Who knew?
"Dangerous drugs such as methamphetamine devastate our community," said United States Attorney Martin Estrada. "We see the misery brought by highly addictive drugs on our streets every day. Or you could just, you know, legalise it and tax it."
All 2,205 pounds of it. That's right, folks! That's enough to keep the party going for a lifetime, or at least until your teeth fall out. And where was this wild ride destined? Australia, mate!
According to the Associated Press, this shipment was sneaky. It was sent by a fake company and disguised as furniture, wheel hub testing equipment, a casting machine, and carpets and textiles. Yeah, because when I think of wild parties, I think of carpets and textiles.
The Justice Department, in all their wisdom, announced the arrest on Friday, though the party train was apparently tried to be exported back in 2023. Li could face a 10-year sentence if convicted, which is just enough time to go cold turkey.
And who's investigating this case? Why, it's our friends at Homeland Security Investigations, United States Customs and Border Protection, and the Australian Federal Police. Because, you know, it takes a village to capture one man with a ton of drugs.
So, cheers to you, Jing Tang Li! You dared to dream of a world where everyone is equal, if only for a night. And to the Australian women who were meant to receive this gift, better luck next time.
Read more: Man arrested in connection with attempt to ship a ton of meth to Australia