Edition

news

Texas Lottery Losers Wake Up Stupid, Hopeless, and Still in Texas

Texas is finally giving its citizens a chance to win something better than death row. Maybe you'll even get lucky and escape this shithole state.

Published August 10, 2024 at 10:15pm by Robbie Farias


Texas Lottery Results: August 10, 2024

Texas is full of lucky bastards. Here are the results for all the draw games that these idiots played on that stupid day:

Powerball: Check Payouts and Previous Drawings

The winning numbers are 09-24-33-64-69, Powerball: 09, Power Play: 2. Good luck getting that money before your ex-wife does.

Pick 3:

Morning: 4-7-2, FIREBALL: 1.
Day: 3-9-6, FIREBALL: 8.
Evening: 0-3-6, FIREBALL: 0. Check Payouts and Previous Drawings

Apparently, some people still play this game. No one cares about your FIREBALL.

Pick 4:

Morning: 6-4-7-6, FIREBALL: 6.
Day: 9-6-8-7, FIREBALL: 2.
Evening: 7-1-1-7, FIREBALL: 5. Check Payouts and Previous Drawings

Same as above, but with one more goddamn number.

All or Nothing:

Morning: 01-04-05-06-08-09-14-15-17-19-21-24.
Day: 02-03-05-07-08-09-12-13-18-19-22-24.
Evening: 02-04-06-10-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24. Check Payouts and Previous Drawings

All or Nothing? More like All for Nothing, am I right?

Feeling Lucky?

Sure, why not? You've already wasted your money on these stupid games. You might as well explore the latest lottery news and results.
Your ticket is brought to you by Jackpocket, because nothing says "responsibility" like promoting gambling.

Where to Buy Tickets:

You can buy these tickets pretty much anywhere, including gas stations and grocery stores. Even some airport terminals sell them, so you can feel extra crappy while you're delayed.

You can also order tickets online through Jackpocket, the "official" digital lottery courier (whatever that means). They operate in a bunch of states, but let's face it, you're probably buying these in Texas. So, go ahead and download their app to throw away your money from the comfort of your own home.

Disclaimer: Jackpocket is not responsible for your stupid decisions. Also, we're not responsible for your stupid decisions. Good luck, loser.

Read more: Texas Lottery Powerball, Pick 3 Morning results for August 10, 2024