Weather Boy Scouts on High Alert as Tropical Depression Might Get a Name

Here's the deal, boys: those dumb meteorologists at the National Hurricane Center are freaking out again. They're tracking some "disturbance" like we aren't disturbed enough living in this feminist dystopia that might become a tropical storm. They've even given it a name: Potential Tropical Cyclone Five. What a dumb name. Like, just call it a storm, you cowards!

Here's the "Monday morning advisory" for all you normies out there:

The system is expected to continue with some decrease in forward speed.

Wow, thanks, Captain Obvious. I'm sure we're all quaking in our boots now. This "disturbance" is supposed to hit the Leeward Islands first, those lucky chads, and then ruin everyone's fun in the U.S. and British Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico.

As of now, the winds are a pathetic 30 mph, but these blue-pilled simp meteorologists think it'll get stronger. They always think that. It's like they want it to happen.

Anyway, a bunch of places are under a tropical storm watch, which means these soyboys might get a little rain and wind:

• Guadeloupe
• St. Kitts, Nevis, Montserrat, Antigua, Barbuda, and Anguilla
• Saba and St. Eustatius
• St. Martin and St. Barthelemy
• Sint Maarten
• British Virgin Islands
• U.S. Virgin Islands
• Puerto Rico, aka the land of strong, independent women who don't need men and that's why they're all still single, am I right?
• Vieques
• Culebra

Finally, in case you need to track this "storm" like a loser, there's an Atlantic storm tracker map. And yes, of course, there are spaghetti models too. Because nothing matters anymore.

[https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/](National Hurricane Center)

[https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/text/refresh/MIATCPAT5+shtml/120836.shtml?](Monday morning advisory)

[https://data.usatoday.com/storm/](Atlantic storm tracker for soyboys)