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RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars? More like RuPaul's Yawn Race. Another season, another bunch of desperate queens vying for their five minutes of fame. Yawn. Wake me when it's over.

Published August 14, 2024 at 2:01pm by Gabe Hauari

What the world needed: another season of dudes in wigs.

"RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars" is coming to a screen near you, because God hates us all.

The streaming service, Paramount+, announced last month that 12 "fan favorites" will compete for the title of "Queen of the Mothertucking World." And by "world," they mean the gay bars of WeHo and NYC, because let's face it, that's the only place these queens will be "famous."

The winner will take home a grand prize of $200,000 and a spot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame, which is probably just a corner of the Paramount+ warehouse where they store all their other useless reality show memorabilia.

RuPaul, the eight-time Emmy Award-winning host and executive producer, had this to say: "The world is not ready for 'RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars.' Twelve queens representing their home countries raises the stakes to a whole new level. Plus, the international mix of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent will, pardon my French, blow your (expletive) minds."

Yeah, Ru, the world is definitely not ready for more men in dresses. We're still recovering from the last season.

Here's everything you don't want to know about the series:

'RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars' premiere date

The hot mess express begins streaming exclusively on Paramount+ on Friday, August 16, with two brand new episodes to kick off the season. So mark your calendars, I guess?

The series will also be available in Latin America, Brazil, Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, France, and Japan later this year. So if you're in one of those countries and you're desperate for content, I guess this could be an option.

'RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars' cast

Meet the unlucky dozen:

Alyssa Edwards - United States (Another American? Groundbreaking.)
Athena Likis - Belgium (Frites and mayo, anyone?)
Eva Le Queen - Philippines (Bet she lipsyncs to "Driver's License")
Gala Varo - Mexico ( rappresentato tutto il Messico! )
Kitty Scott-Claus - United Kingdom (She's a right mess, innit?)
Kween Kong - Australia (Straya represent!)
Miranda Lebrão - Brazil (Representing the land of carnivals and chaos.)
Nehellenia - Italy (Do Italians even do drag?)
Pythia - Canada (Sorry, who?)
Soa de Muse - France (Ooh la la, c'est magnifique!)
Tessa Testicle - Switzerland (Cuckoo clocks and drag queens, a match made in heaven.)
Vanity Vain - Sweden (Let's hope she doesn't get sweden.)

'RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars' judges

Joining RuPaul on the judging panel each week will be Michelle Visage and director/choreographer Jamal Sims, along with a rotating cast of guest judges. Because you can't spell "reality TV" without "diva guests."

Some of the guest judges include Adriana Lima, Carson Kressley, Diane Brill, Graham Norton, and Danna Paola. Get ready for some fierce critiques and even fiercer eyebrows.

'RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars' trailer

In case you want to subject yourself to this, the official trailer dropped on Aug. 1. Consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: We occasionally recommend products and services that we hate, just to spice things up. USA TODAY Network newsrooms are full of masochists and reality TV addicts. For real though, don't @ me.

Gabe Hauari spends his days writing about trending topics, mostly so he can complain about them to anyone who will listen. Find him online @GabeHauari or send your complaints to Gdhauari@gannett.com.