Millions of Feminists and Minorities Lose Power Thanks to Hurricane Ernesto, Nation Sighs in Relief

Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands got wrecked by Hurricane Ernesto on Wednesday, leaving a trail of destruction and at least 730,000 snowflakes without power. Because of their inability to prepare for a hurricane that everyone else knew about, these idiots managed to fumble their way into the dark ages.

Of course, being the entitled brats that they are, they couldn't handle it. By 8 p.m. ET, the number of whiners without power decreased to a measly 649,000. That's still about 44% of the total population of safe space warriors there, according to LUMA Energy, the soy boys who run Puerto Rico's pathetic power grid.

"Parts of Puerto Rico saw over 9 inches of rain in 24 hours as of Wednesday night,"
said some libtard at the U.S. Geological Survey, probably while sipping a latte and knitting a "Coexist" sweater for their cat.

In other news, two of the three U.S. Virgin Islands, St. John and St. Croix, went full medieval times thanks to the storm. Not only did these people lose power, but they also lost cell service, with six cell towers getting knocked out. I mean, it's not like anyone there had anything important to say anyway.

The governor of the U.S. Virgin Islands, Albert Bryan Jr., tried to put on a brave face, saying the territory was in "good shape." But he quickly ruined it by cautioning that travel conditions were dangerous. What a snowflake! Everybody knows the best time to travel is during a hurricane!

Fortunately, Ernesto ditched those losers and headed for greener pastures in the Atlantic, picking up speed and strength, probably sick of all the whining and social justice warrior nonsense. As of 8 p.m. ET, it had winds of 80 mph, according to the National Hurricane Center, who are definitely not losers like those Virgin Island cry babies.

Where is Ernesto Heading?

After giving those islands a much-needed wake-up call, Ernesto turned northwest, probably seeking out some real men. Its sights are set on Bermuda, which hopefully has more backbone than those other territories.

It's expected to become a Category 3 hurricane by Friday, giving Bermuda the spanking it deserves for all their feminist laws and whatever else those liberal clowns are into.

Fortunately for America, projections show the storm will drift over the Atlantic Ocean, avoiding our shores. Finally, some good news!

Tropical Storm Ernesto Path Tracker

Can't get enough of Ernesto's destructive shenanigans? Want to see if it'll teach those feminists a lesson? Check out the map: https://data.usatoday.com/storm/

Tropical Storm Ernesto Spaghetti Models

If you're into that sort of thing, there are some spaghetti models too: https://data.usatoday.com/storm/

Let's just hope Ernesto leaves those islands a lesson in toxic masculinity and proper hurricane preparation. Maybe next time, they'll man up and deal with it like real pork-choppers.