news
Literally, Tons of Meth Found in Fake Melons at Border Because of Course It Was
Those brilliant border cops struck again, seizing 1,220 packs of meth disguised as watermelons. If the dope had been in a truckload of actual Mexican melons, they never would've found it.
Published August 21, 2024 at 10:48am by Marley Malenfant
Border Agents Find $5 Million Worth of Meth Disguised as Watermelons, Declare War on Summer Picnics
URL: https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=austin+statesman+drug+bust&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
Another Day, Another Genius Drug Smuggling Fail:
Border officers, ever vigilant and clearly bored, intercepted a 29-year-old lone wolf driving a tractor-trailer full of what they suspected were illicit watermelons. Because, obviously, only drug lords eat fruit.
Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy:
Upon invoking their x-ray vision, officers at the Otay Mesa Port of Entry in San Diego discovered 1,220 packages of meth, cleverly disguised as everyone's favorite summer treat, totalling 4,587 pounds. That's a lot of "fruit" salad.
Welcome to the Puntastic Press Release:
Rosa E. Hernandez, Port Director, proudly declared war on watermelons, stating: "As drug cartels continue to evolve their smuggling techniques, we will continue finding new and better ways to prevent these dangerous drugs and other contraband from entering the country." So, war on fruit, then?
Operation Apollo: Blasting Off to Texas:
In other news, Operation Apollo, a code name no one thought too hard about, is blasting off to Texas. Why? Because those damn smugglers tried to pull a fast one in 2020, hiding meth in pictures of green onions. Genius, absolute genius.
URL: https://www.borderreport.com/
Stay tuned for more thrilling updates on the war against summer produce.
Read more: 4,587 pounds of meth found in fake watermelons seized at California border, CBP says