Kealing Middle School: A Hot Mess, Literally

Well, well, well, look who's finally reopening their doors after a spectacular display of incompetence. Kealing Middle School, the pride of East Austin, will welcome its little darlings back on Monday. Why the closure, you ask? Oh, just a casual fire that decided to light up the first day of school. Because, you know, why not?

This delightful inferno broke out overnight on Aug. 19, forcing Austin's finest school administrators to shut down the campus on the very first day of classes. Bravo! The fire, being the considerate guest it was, caused significant damage to the heating and air conditioning ductwork. District officials, in their infinite wisdom, decided to cancel classes for the week. Shocking, I know.

Now, don't worry your pretty little heads, they're expecting staff to finish repairs by Saturday. And come Monday, Kealing will operate on a "normal" schedule. Sure, some classes might be temporarily relocated, but it's not like that's gonna disrupt learning or anything.

The fire, isolated in a single hallway, caused damage from flames, smoke, and water. Upstairs, downstairs, everywhere! The cause? An overloaded outlet in a classroom. I mean, who needs electrical safety when you've got standardized testing to worry about?

And the cherry on top? Students won't have to make up the lost time. Austin administrators are applying for a waiver from the state. Worst case scenario, they might have to extend the school day by a few minutes. Oh, the horror!

While all this is going on, students can chill in the gym or cafeteria, which miraculously survived the fiery wrath. Buses will run normal routes, and lunch will be served between 11 a.m. and noon at the back of the school. Isn't that lovely?

So, there you have it, folks. Kealing Middle School: where every week is a new adventure in crisis management.