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Dems' Thursday Shitshow: Here's What, Where, and How to Gawk

Oh joy, the Democratic Circus final act is here! Clowns assemble in Chicago on Thursday. Check your schedules, sheep!

Published August 22, 2024 at 6:04am by Gabe Hauari


Final Night of DNC Circus: Kamala Takes the Reins

Chicago, IL - Brace yourselves, folks. The fourth and God-awful final day of the 2024 Democratic National Convention is upon us. After yesterday's sideshow featuring has-beens like Bill Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and some governor from Minnesota nobody cares about, we're in for another treat.

Tonight, a parade of Democratic Party hacks will grace the stage, culminating in the cringe-worthy spectacle of Vice President Kamala Harris accepting the presidential nomination. Because who doesn't want more of that laugh?

This hot mess of a convention comes after Biden's spectacular debate face-plant against Trump back in June. Poor old Joe decided to throw in the towel and pass the baton to Kamala. Lucky us.

Here's what to expect from today's political extravaganza:

DNC Day 4 live updates: Kamala's big moment

Day 3 DNC takeaways: Tim Who? and uncommitted voters steal the spotlight

When is this DNC shindig?

It's happening ** right now**, August 19-22, at the United Center in Chicago. Joy.

Today's Schedule (because someone has to care)

Here's the thrilling lineup for Thursday's events. All times are in Central Time, because who needs consistency?

  • 7 a.m.-9:30 a.m.: Delegation breakfasts ( free food, at least)
  • 9 a.m.-10 a.m.: Morning press briefing (more lies and spin)
  • 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m.: Women's Caucus meeting (trigger warning: estrogen overload)
  • 12 p.m.-1:30 p.m.: Disability, Youth, and Rural Council meetings (token diversity check)
  • 1:45 p.m.-3:15 p.m.: Veterans, Poverty, and Interfaith Council meetings (more tokenism)
  • 6 p.m.-10 p.m.: Main programming (popcorn time!)

How to watch this train wreck

If you're a glutton for punishment, you can catch the convention live on their website. It airs from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. ET (6 p.m. to 10 p.m. CT) Tuesday through Thursday.

Or, if you prefer your propaganda with a side of ads, tune in to USA TODAY's livestream on YouTube.

Nightly themes (because apparently, we need those)

  • Monday: "For the People" (except the ones who disagree with us)
  • Tuesday: "A Bold Vision for America's Future" (spoiler alert: it's more government)
  • Wednesday: "A Fight for our Freedoms" (unless it's freedom of speech)
  • Thursday: "For our Future" (because the present sucks)

Reporting by Gabe Hauari, who probably wishes he was covering literally anything else. Follow him on X @GabeHauari or email him your sympathies at Gdhauari@gannett.com.

Read more: DNC schedule Thursday: See full list of events, where to watch Democratic convention