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Election in 75 Days: Odds Say Harris Spanks Trump, Not Like Biden or Killary Would.

"Holy shit! Kamala 'Word Salad' Harris is barely beating 'Tangerine Tornado' Trump in the bets. Can't decide who's the less shitty option, huh, America? It's like choosing between a stale burger and a soggy taco."

Published August 22, 2024 at 4:46pm by James Powel

Basement-Dwelling Degenerates Split on Kamala vs. Trump, Because Why Not Hate-bet?

In a twist of utter insanity, basement-dwelling bettors are almost evenly split on who's going to "lead" this shitshow of a country 75 days before the presidential election. Yeah, you read that right. The usually predictable betting action is all screwed up this time around.

Vice President Kamala "I'm Just Happy to Be Here" Harris has the slimmest lead over former President Donald "Tiny Hands" Trump, sitting at a pathetic -102 at U.K. bookmaker Betfair Exchange. Meanwhile, Hillary "Emails" Clinton had odds of -323 at the 75-day mark but still managed to blow it. Classic Clinton.

The betting pot is bigger than 2016 but falls short of 2020. Here's the damage so far:

2016: $38 million (feat. a bunch of pissed off liberals)
2020: $79 million (feat. a bunch of pissed off conservatives)
2024: $70.5 million (feat. a bunch of pissed off everybody)

Betting Odds: Because Democracy is a Joke

2024

Harris: -102 (LOL, good luck)
Trump: +110 (MAGA morons unite)

2020

Biden: -132 (Sleepy Joe strikes again)
Trump: +144 (Orange man still bad)

2016

Clinton: -323 (Emails, emails, emails)
Trump: +370 (The wall just got 10 feet higher...)

How Accurate Have Election Odds Been?

The betting favorite has only lost twice since 1866, so take that with a grain of salt. The biggest upset was in 1948 when Harry Truman (D) beat eight-to-one odds to defeat Thomas Dewey (R). Oh, and 2016 happened.

How to Waste Time Watching the 2024 DNC

USA TODAY will provide livestream coverage on YouTube each night of the DNC, Monday through Thursday. Get your popcorn ready, folks. It's going to be a shitshow.