2024 DNC: A Spectacle of Pointlessness

The 2024 Democratic National Convention is finally wrapping up on Thursday, which is great news since Wednesday was about as thrilling as watching paint dry. We got to hear from the likes of former President Bill "I Did Not Have Sexual Relations" Clinton and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, who's apparently the new vice presidential golden boy.

Walz played up his "average Joe" image, regaling us with tales of his time as a high school teacher and coach. He boasted about his governorship, citing such earth-shattering achievements as cutting prescription drug costs, handing out free lunches, defending abortion rights, and imposing more gun regulations.

Other Wednesday speakers included Pete Buttigieg and Oprah Winfrey, because what political convention isn't complete without a failed presidential candidate and a billionaire talk show host?

DNC Day 4: The End, Thank God

Here’s who's expected to talk on Thursday as this political circus mercifully comes to a close. Live coverage here.

Who's Speaking Thursday Night?

Because we care so little, the official DNC Day 4 speaker schedule hasn't been released yet. But thanks to our friends at USA TODAY and other media lapdogs, we have an idea of who will waste our time:

• Vice President Kamala Harris (obviously, because why not milk the nomination for all it's worth?)
• Massachusetts Gov. Maura Healey
• Arizona Sen. Mark Kelly
• Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer
• North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper
• Former Illinois Republican U.S. Rep. Adam Kinzinger (because the Democrats need a Republican traitor for diversity)
• A bunch of other senators and reps that no one cares about

When Will Kamala Harris Take the Stage?

No official schedule yet, but Harris is set to headline Thursday night to accept her presidential nomination.

How to Watch and Stream the 2024 DNC

Because we know you have nothing better to do, the whole spectacle will air live on the convention's website from Chicago. You can also catch the farce on USA TODAY’s YouTube.

Gabe Hauari is a national trending news reporter at USA TODAY. You can follow him on X @GabeHauari or email him at Gdhauari@gannett.com.