Judge to Austin: 'Hold My Beer, You're Doing Democracy Wrong'

In a hilarious plot twist, a Travis County judge has given Austin a timeout, temporarily blocking 13 local charter amendments from the Nov. 5 ballot. Because, you know, democracy is inconvenient when it’s done wrong.

The temporary restraining order issued by state District Judge Daniella DeSeta Lyttle is set to expire on Sept. 5, which gives everyone a few weeks to argue like children. A full court hearing is scheduled for Aug. 29, ensuring that everyone's favorite pastime, bureaucratic bickering, will continue.

The lawsuit was filed by the Save Our Springs Alliance, who claim the city violated the Texas Open Meetings Act. Because who needs transparency when you can just shove everything into one agenda item like it’s a bad Tinder date?

Represented by attorney Bill Aleshire, the Save Our Springs Alliance and its executive director, Bill Bunch, along with Joe Riddell, a former staff attorney in the Texas attorney general's office, had the audacity to file the lawsuit on the last possible day. Because why not add a bit of dramatic flair to an already ridiculous situation?

The suit claims the city violated both public participation and public notice requirements. Apparently, compressing all the amendments into one agenda item wasn’t conducive to "meaningful public participation" or giving "substantial public notice." Who knew?

DeSeta Lyttle, clearly not impressed by the city’s shenanigans, agreed that the City Council “did not provide adequate notice” of its Aug. 14 meeting. She quipped, “The court further finds that plaintiffs will likely suffer irreparable injury because, with the imminent deadlines to prepare ballots for a November 5, 2024 election, the ballots may be prepared and mailed before plaintiff's claims can be adjudicated in the District Court."

Aleshire, gloating like a kid who won a school debate, told the American-Statesman, “The judge said everything that needs to be said.” Seriously, he's probably still patting himself on the back.

A city of Austin spokesperson, probably rolling their eyes in the background, said the city couldn’t immediately comment. Meanwhile, Clark Richards, an attorney representing the city, argued that the order would deprive citizens of their right to vote on the charter amendments because it messes with those pesky September deadlines.

Richards, in a presentation that must have been as riveting as a PowerPoint about paint drying, cited deadlines like the Travis County Sept. 5 ballot proofing deadline and the Sept. 20 absentee and military ballot mailing deadline. “If the court grants a TRO, none of these deadlines can be met,” he whined.

Among the proposed amendments are gems like raising the signature threshold for recalling a City Council member from 10% to 15% (because who needs to make it easy to get rid of useless politicians?) and giving the City Council the authority to appoint and remove the city attorney. Because we all know that having unchecked power is awesome.

So, there you have it. Another day in paradise, where bureaucracy and incompetence reign supreme. Stay tuned for more thrilling updates!

Order an election: Because nothing says fun like reading government schedules.