Lake Travis: A Death Trap for Idiot Revelers this Labor Day.

Idiots on Lake Travis Turn Fun Days into Disaster Movies

As the sun began to set, painting the sky with all the enthusiasm of a toddler with a box of crayons, the Johnson family was wrapping up their little Norman Rockwell moment on Lake Travis. Their kids, tuckered out from tubing and splashing around, were practically comatose. But as they headed back to their familiar cove, their boat hit something with a thud that could wake the dead. Cue the sound of submerged concrete dock blocks slapping against the water—a hazard they hadn’t seen just a week ago. Shocker, right?

Welcome to the new normal on Lake Travis, where the water level is dropping faster than your 401k during a recession. It’s not just about navigating shallow waters anymore; it’s about dodging stumps, rocks, and old dock blocks that are emerging like some sort of aquatic apocalypse. Thanks, drought.

Over the past two years, Lake Travis has basically turned into a giant puddle. Currently, it’s only 47.4% full, and recent rains have done jack squat to fix it. The situation is so dire, it’s the lowest the lake has been since 2011. So much for a relaxing boat ride.

In another thrilling episode, just last month, a father who apparently thought wakeboarding with his kids was a good idea ran aground. The boat slammed to a halt, turning their fun day into a horror show. These stories are as common as Karens at Target these days.

But the real kicker? Most boaters are about as prepared as a high school dropout for a calculus exam. Very few have VHFs to call for help, relying instead on cell signals, which might as well be a carrier pigeon in some of these coves. And forget about depth finders or navigation charts. Those are for suckers with a brain.

As Labor Day weekend approaches, brace yourselves for the influx of geniuses flocking to the lake. The Lower Colorado River Authority has issued warnings, but let’s be real—no one listens. The best advice? Slow down, stay in the middle of the channels, and be extra cautious near the shore. Because nothing says "fun weekend" like scraping your boat against submerged crap you can’t see.

Lake Travis, once the jewel of Central Texas, is now just a giant minefield. Plan your trip with safety in mind: avoid unfamiliar areas and keep your speed down. And for God’s sake, save the alcohol for when you’re safely ashore. Texas Parks & Wildlife reported five alcohol-related incidents on lakes and one alcohol- related death last year.

So, if you’re heading to Lake Travis this Labor Day, remember: the water is lower, the dangers are greater, and your vigilance could make the difference between a relaxing weekend and a front-page headline. Stay alert, stay sober, and try not to run your boat into a concrete block. Happy holidays!

Captain Skylar Smith is the owner of TowBoatUS Lake Travis, here to save your sorry asses from your own stupidity.