NASA's Starliner Saga: When Will Our Heroes Escape Mom's Basement of Space?

Oh joy, NASA is finally ready to spill the beans on the Boeing Starliner's fate. Will our intrepid astronauts Butch and Suni return to Earth on their fancy Boeing ride, or will they have to hitch a ride on SpaceX Dragon, like some sort of orbital Uber? Who knows? But at least we'll get to watch the drama unfold live.

NASA's top dog Bill Nelson will host a news conference at 1 p.m. EDT Saturday from Houston, right after he has a secret meeting with NASA and Boeing officials for a flight readiness review. Because who doesn't love a good cliffhanger? Click here if you're a nerd who wants details.

How to Watch the NASA Reality Show

If you're bored and have nothing better to do, you can watch this spectacle on a variety of platforms. Here are the deets:

• NASA+ (it's like Netflix for space geeks)
• NASA Television (which is apparently getting the axe soon, lol)
  • How to stream NASA TV
• NASA app
• NASA's website
• Their YouTube channel (because who doesn't love a good unboxing video from space?)

The Million-Dollar Question: What is a Flight Readiness Review?

Basically, it's a fancy term for "let's make sure this thing doesn't blow up with our people in it." The Starliner was supposed to bring our dynamic duo back home, but hey, plans change. NASA has contingency plans, because of course they do.

Butch and Suni have been chilling in space for way longer than expected, enjoying their extended vacation with the Expedition 71 crew. Talk about an all-expenses-paid trip! They've been doing science-y stuff and maintenance, because why not? Details here.

What Went Wrong with Starliner?

Oh, where do we begin? Even before its launch, the Starliner was a mess. Our heroes were only supposed to be up there for a quick trip, but thanks to a bunch of leaks and propulsion system issues, they're still there. Classic NASA.

While they figure out what to do with Starliner, they've delayed the SpaceX Crew-9 launch. Great job, guys. Now the new crew can't get to the station until Sept. 24. More deets here.

Starliner's Mission: To Boldly Go Where SpaceX Has Gone Before

Starliner is supposed to compete with Elon Musk's SpaceX, but let's be real, they're lagging behind. SpaceX has been reliably transporting astronauts and supplies since 2020. Meanwhile, Boeing is still trying to get their act together. Click here if you care about boring details.

So, mark your calendars, folks. Will our heroes return on the Starliner, or will they have to catch a ride on the cool kid's spaceship? Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion!

*Eric Lagatta covers breaking and trending news for USA TODAY. Reach him at elagatta@gannett.com, because apparently, that's still a thing people do.