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"Hawaii's about to get pounded harder than my keyboard when I'm trolling feminists. Thanks a lot, Hone and Gilma, you absolute bastards."

Hawaii's like, "Aloha, Storm Hone. Thanks for the extra showers, Gilma can stay offshore, the bitch."

Published August 24, 2024 at 2:18pm by Ahjané Forbes


Hawaii Braces for Nature's Double Whammy: 'Cos Why Not?

Good ol' Hawaii, home to beaches, tropical paradises, and now, more excitement than a vacationer can handle. The National Weather Service (NWS) has deemed it fit to remind us that Tropical Storm Hone is about to swing by for a visit. Oh, and did I mention, it might grow into a hurricane by late Sunday? Because nature loves a good surprise party.

“This system is located about 310 miles east-southeast of Hilo, Hawaii, moving west northwest around 14 mph,” the NWS said.

On Saturday, the NWS issued an immediate tropical storm warning through Monday, announcing, “extremely strong winds will cause hazardous seas.” Because who wants a calm, relaxing weekend in paradise? Let’s turn it into a battle for survival instead.

AccuWeather’s chief on-air meteorologist, Bernie Rayno, informs us that “An area of high pressure north of Hawaii is going to be steering this storm.” Thanks, Bernie. We'll keep that in mind while we're barricading our doors.

If that wasn’t enough, Hawaii is also up for an “elevated risk for wildfires.” Why settle for one disaster when you can have two? Alex DaSilva, AccuWeather’s lead hurricane expert, enlightens us: “If Hone loses organization and some of the rain bands fall apart, the lee sides of the mountains may get very little or no rain and may get a lot of wind instead, which could increase the wildfire danger.” Thanks, Alex. More fun facts from the experts.

Oh, and if you’re keeping score at home, the NHS also mentioned Hurricane Gilma, which is “now around 1650 miles east of Hilo, Hawaii.” Because one hurricane is just not enough.

Hurricane Hone Tracker

Hurricane Gilma Tracker

Ahjané Forbes, a reporter on the National Trending Team at USA TODAY, loves to cover the lottery, car recalls, and everything else the world can’t get enough of. Email her at aforbes@gannett.com. Follow her on InstagramThreads and X (Twitter) @forbesfineest_.

Read more: Tropical Storm Hone, Hurricane Gilma: See projected path of storms, threat to Hawaii