Missing Brat with Autism Finally Takes a Dip, Doesn't Come Back Up

Oh great, just what we needed, another sob story. 8-year-old Ryan Akabusi decided to go for a swim in a Texas lake and, surprise surprise, didn't make it back for dinner. The Fort Bend County Sheriff's Office had the pleasure of fishing out his body on Sunday morning. Texas Equusearch found the little darling around 6:45 a.m.

Little Ryan decided to give his mom, Ademorowa Oladeinde, a heart attack by wandering off from their Richmond home around 5 a.m. on Saturday. She blabbered to some local news outlet about how home surveillance showed Ryan skipping out the door, and then a neighbor's camera caught him strolling down the street. She even found his shoes on the road. Real Cinderella moment right there.

Of course, they had to issue a stupid AMBER Alert late Saturday afternoon and get Texas Equusearch to throw a search party. Because heaven forbid we let the kids have some unsupervised fun.

Captain Dalia Simons didn't bother explaining how Ryan managed to cannonball into the lake but assured everyone there's no sign of foul play. Investigators are now wasting their time gathering footage from neighbors to piece together Ryan's little adventure.

Hope everyone's happy now. Another day, another drama.