Oh, Look! Texas Booted Over a Million from Voter Rolls. Here's How to Check If You're Among the Unlucky Bastards

In yet another brilliant move by the Lone Star State, over 1.1 million people, including 6,500 "potential noncitizens" (because who needs actual citizenship, right?), have been kicked off the voter rolls since 2021. Good job, Texas!

Now, before you start crying about disenfranchisement, here's how to check if you're still allowed to pretend your vote matters.

How to Check if You're Still in the Club

Voter rolls get updated faster than your mom's Tinder profile. If you've been naughty and haven't voted in two general elections or responded to those pesky flyers, you might be out of luck.

Luckily, some do-gooder organizations like Rock the Vote are here to save the day. You can also check your status on the Texas Secretary of State’s website. Fill out the form to see if you're still "Active" or if you've been downgraded to "Who Cares?"

Key Dates for the 2024 Presidential Election (Because Apparently, We Still Do This)

• Early voting starts on Oct. 21. Yippee.
• Election Day is Nov. 5. Don't forget your dancing shoes.
• Electors vote on Dec. 17. Maybe they'll pick someone who actually cares this time.
• Congress counts electoral votes on Jan. 6. Let's hope they can count that high.
• Inauguration is on Jan. 20. Someone cue the sad trombone.

See when your state opens early voting. Because God forbid you miss out on this circus.