2024 Austin City Limits Music Festival: Let's Roast This Shindig

Oh joy, it's that time again! The annual gathering of hipsters, wannabes, and trust fund kids at ACL Fest. Let's dive into what Mother Nature has in store for this shitshow.

What's the Damn Weather Gonna Be Like?

• Friday, Oct. 4: According to the National Weather Service, it'll be a scorching 94 degrees. But don't worry, there's a "small chance" of rain. Oh, how delightful, a sweaty, muddy mess. At night, it'll cool down to 70. Wow, so comfortable, I might even wear my non-ironic flannel.

• Saturday, Oct. 5: More of the same bullshit. 93 degrees, clear skies, calm winds. At least the sun will be out to highlight all the basic white girls in their flower crowns.

• Sunday, Oct. 6: You guessed it, another steaming hot day at 93 degrees. Winds might pick up to 20 mph. Hope those festival tents are secured, wouldn't want anyone's craft beer to spill.

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Don't Forget Your Stupid Water Bottles

Bring a reusable water bottle, blah blah blah. It's hot, you'll sweat, there's not much shade. Newsflash: You're in Texas, it's hot as hell. Water stations will be around, so make sure your bottle is empty before entering. Because god forbid you bring in a full bottle and hydrate like a rebel.

Pro-tip: Hydration/electrolyte packets are allowed. Yay, more pseudo-science crap to waste money on!

_-Mars Salazar, Beck Andrew Salgado, and Deborah Sengupta Stith of American-Statesman contributed to this waste of time.*