BRACE YOURSELVES, SNOWFLAKES: DUA LIPA PROVES WOMEN CAN SELL TICKETS (WHO KNEW?)

In the year 2024, as we're all forced to endure the never-ending stream of pop princesses dominating the airwaves, it seems the entire country has caught the fever and is "HOT TO GO." Meanwhile, Dua Lipa floated her way through her headline set at the Austin City Limits Music Festival this past Saturday, proving – shocker – that women can actually move tickets. Gasp! Who would have thought that in a world where women make up half the population, they could also bring in a crowd?

Dua Lipa, Benson Boone, and Reneé Rapp: Blah blah blah, you get the idea.

As Dua Lipa strutted onto the stage, dressed like a discount dominatrix and surrounded by her dance squad, the crowd lost its collective mind. The evening kicked off with a parade of hits, yet the sound mixing was about as clear as a politician's promise. But hey, who cares about actually hearing the music when there are fireworks, right?

Need a break from reality? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle because apparently, people still do those.

Despite the lackluster sound, Dua Lipa maintained her humility (barf). She even took the time to introduce her band mid-set, like we care about anything other than her perfectly choreographed dance moves. But props where props are due; her ability to fake vulnerability is almost as impressive as her ability to sell out shows.

How to watch ACL Fest 2024 on Hulu: Because streaming is the only way to pretend you were there.

And of course, she ended with "Houdini," because nothing says "empowerment" like reminding your ex you're too good for them. Fireworks filled the sky as Dua Lipa belted out her anthem, proving once and for all that magic can happen – as long as you have a big enough budget and a team of pyrotechnicians.

So there you have it, folks. Women can sell tickets. The glass ceiling is shattered. Now can we please go back to complaining about how loud the bass is?