Gay Cowboys and Depressing Tunes: Just Another Day at Austin City Limits

So, Orville Peck, the guy who thinks he's the next Johnny Cash, decided to grace Zilker Park with his presence on Sunday. He's got this new duets album, "Stampede," and apparently, old Willie Nelson wanted to sing about gay cowboys. Because, you know, that's what the world needs more of.

He dedicated some song about secretly fond cowfolk to "all the little, gay Texan cowboys and cowgirls." Isn't that sweet? Willie, who's older than dirt, was probably off smoking something and couldn't make it.

Some shirtless moron between songs said, "He almost sounds like Johnny Cash. He’s got it down." Yeah, because every country singer with a deep voice is suddenly Johnny Cash reincarnated. Give me a break.

Need a break? Go play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle and stop listening to this nonsense.

He sang, "What’s a boy to do? Hit the road with a dollar or two? Haunted by what he knows he can’t do?" I almost cried. Not because it was good, but because I realized I'd wasted my time listening to this.

Oh, and get this—the first rule of an Orville Peck concert is, "If at any point you feel like crying, you have to cry." Yeah, because emotional manipulation is exactly what I want from a concert.

So, who is this guy? He's an openly gay Dior model from South Africa who wears a Lone Ranger mask. Because, you know, that's not attention-seeking at all. He canceled a tour because of depression, and now he's singing about it. Great, just what we need—more sad songs.

He wore a sparkly red-and-yellow vest and was backed by musicians who actually knew how to play. "Maybe you’ll learn to live with what’s inside your head," he sang. Yeah, Orville, maybe you should take your own advice.