Vince Staples Demands Sacrifice of Teen's Sanity at ACL Fest

In a truly mind-numbing display of "connecting with the youth," has-been rapper Vince Staples decided to torment a 17-year-old kid, Benji Ross, during his yawn-inducing set at Austin City Limits Music Festival. The horror began when Staples spotted a sign on Ross' phone asking for a video.

"But why don't the phone say 'take a video on my phone?'" Staples whined, proving he's as tech-savvy as your grandma trying to send an email. "See, I'm 31. Back in my day, right ... I just don't understand it." Yeah, Vince, because you're practically a fossil.

After his last ACL Fest appearance in 2016, where he mourned his brother's Xanax overdose, Staples has somehow managed to release more albums and even snag a TV show. His music has become as flat as a week-old soda, but hey, at least he's still talking everyone's ears off.

Staples meandered through his new lullabies and old "summer hits" before zeroing in on Ross again. "Grab the 17-year-old so that they can take their selfie real quick ... Come on, come on my child," he commanded, like a low-budget Dracula.

A shell-shocked Ross clambered onto the stage, and Staples snatched the kid's phone for a selfie while spewing more of his signature "wisecracks."

"It was a really fire experience," Ross gushed, clearly suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

Staples then launched into his "hit" song "Big Fish," proving that even a broken clock is right twice a day.

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