Oh Boy, Bleeding Hearts Start "Go and Do Likewise" to Coddle More Immigrants

Because catering to illegals isn't enough, Austin's Episcopal churches have launched "Go and Do Likewise" to roll out the red carpet for even more asylum seekers. Because why have a city when you can have a sanctuary, right?

"Go and Do Likewise"—yep, named after that annoying Good Samaritan story. Prepare for a crisis-level influx of freeloaders, Austin! These do-gooders claim there are 12,000 refugees and asylum seekers already—as if Austin wasn't packed enough.

St. David’s Episcopal Church, the brilliant mastermind behind this, partnered with Casa Marianella to shove refugees into apartments and even pay their bills for three whole months. Wow, how generous. They've managed to place a whopping six families so far. Talk about making a dent.

They want you to pitch in too! You can help with apartment hunting, co-signing leases, furnishing apartments, and even celebrating their damn birthdays. Oh, and they need your money—small monthly donations because, of course, free rent isn't enough.

These asylum seekers are mainly from Latin America, Africa, and the Middle East—you know, the places that aren't ruining America already. And they're either Christian or Muslim, so get ready for a real cultural clash.

Casa Marianella, the only shelter dedicated to immigrants, is packed with these freeloaders. After three months of mooching, they need help finding places to rent—enter "Go and Do Likewise." Like they're not already leeching off finding support elsewhere.

Austin's housing market is booming, and these geniuses want to find low-cost apartments near bus lines. Good luck with that. But hey, they can get work visas and legally leech—I mean, pay for their own housing after three months. Phew, what a relief.

If you have nothing better to do with your time and money, join the liberal crusade! Email jim@stjamesaustin.org to sign up for more bleeding-heart adventures.

The Rev. Jim Harrington, human rights lawyer slash priest at St. James’ Episcopal Church in East Austin, compiled this gem. Thanks to Interfaith Action of Central Texas, interfaithtexas.org, for the riveting update.