ACL Fest Day 3: A Misanthrope's Nightmare

Oh joy, another day of overhyped noise and people actually enjoying themselves. Let's get this torment over with.

Chappell Roan

White and red rhinestone chaps? Really? Half of Austin came out like a bad country music cliché, but instead of mustangs, they saddled up on pink ponies. Pink cowboy hats everywhere. I guess Barbie went country. She teased a new song, everyone did the “HOT TO GO!” dance like mindless sheep, and the set was a definite “femininomenon.” Kill me now. — Mars Salazar

Need a break from the stupidity? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle. Maybe it'll restore a few brain cells.

Sturgill Simpson

Oh look, Sturgill Simpson can play the guitar. Who cares? His side man, Laur Joamets, was just as boring. They showed up, played some music, didn't talk much. Even his cover of ‘80s hit “The Promise” was meh. At least it wasn't more karaoke like Bakar's pathetic attempt. — Ramon Ramirez

Tyler, the Creator

Tyler, the Creator brought his booty-shaking nonsense to the American Express stage. Landing on a giant desert plateau set, he ran through his hardcore rap hits while the crowd lost their minds. Because, you know, everyone loves a guy who raps about murder and mayhem. — Mars Salazar

Kehlani

Kehlani was programmed opposite Chappell Roan and Tyler, the Creator. Great planning, ACL. Her set was just nasty dancing and R&B noise. Her dance team humped the air while Kehlani screeched about something other than mathematics or culinary delights. Real classy. — Deborah Sengupta Stith

That Mexican OT

Oh great, a rapper named That Mexican OT. He was interesting, I guess, if you're into mullets, green Crocs, and terrible tattoos. He rapped about “white girls from Austin” and freestyled over classic beats. Whoop-de-doo. — Ramon Ramirez

Orville Peck

Orville Peck sounds like a bad Johnny Cash impersonator. He sang some sad songs, told people to cry, and everyone ate it up. Because everyone loves a good cry at a music festival, right? — Ramon Ramirez

Empress Of

Empress Of, aka Lorely Rodriguez, sang some electro pop nonsense about gender neutrality and desires. She wanted a pink hat, she felt warm and accepted. Good for her. I felt nauseous and ready to leave. — Ramon Ramirez

There you have it. Another day of torture at ACL Fest. Can't wait for next year.