Uvalde Finally Dumps More Fabulous Footage of Keystone Kops in Action

Oh, joy! The city of Uvalde just couldn't wait to share even more cringe-worthy videos and "investigative materials" showing their finest and bravest doing absolutely jack squat during the Robb Elementary School shooting. Buckle up, folks!

After a thrilling game of hide-and-seek with the public, these gems are finally seeing the light of day, thanks to a deal with news outlets like the American-Statesman and Gannett. You know, the ones who actually give a damn about transparency.

Apparently, Uvalde’s top brass and their trusty sidekicks "discovered" they missed a few teensy, tiny details in the initial records dump back in August. Whoops-a-daisy! But don't worry, some poor schmuck of a sergeant already fell on his sword over it.

Uvalde, ever the trailblazer, is the only bunch of bureaucrats to agree to cough up the records to settle a lawsuit brought by those pesky journalists. Aren't we lucky?

So, what's in the new batch of goodies? Just more confirmation that roughly 400 of Texas' finest were playing musical statues while a psycho with an AR-15 was on a killing spree. But hey, at least they got to practice their tanning in the Texas sun, right?

Oh, and let's not forget the grand jury that finally got around to indicting former Uvalde school district Police Chief Pete Arredondo and one of his lackeys, Adrian Gonzales, on child endangerment charges. Better late than never, yeah?

And the cherry on top? Even the U.S. Justice Department chimed in, saying a faster response might have, you know, saved lives. No shit, Sherlock!

Check out the videos here if you're into watching paint dry or enjoying a dumpster fire of incompetence.

Stay classy, Uvalde.