"Genius military wannabe from Taylor croaks cause some freaky-ass bacteria had a party in his lungs. Thanks, Autopsy Andy, we needed that visual."

Air Force Cadet Bites the Dust from 'Rare' Bacteria, Because Life Just Loves a good Plot Twist

Oh, boy, where do we even start? So, there's this Air Force cadet from Taylor—um, her name was Avery Koonce. Yeah, she was just 19, living the high life at the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. And then, bam! She's found unconscious in her dorm, dead from a bacterial infection. Talk about a buzzkill, right?

This "rare" little bugger is called paeniclostridium sordellii. The El Paso County coroner—probably some guy who really needs to get out more—says it's linked to a "toxic-shock like syndrome." Gee, thanks for the sunny outlook, doc! Apparently, poor Avery also had bronchitis, courtesy of the parainfluenza virus. Because why not pile on, right?

The autopsy report—which is basically a boring wordy thing that describes why you're dead—made sure to mention she had a history of a chronic cough that had, surprise, surprise, gotten way worse recently. Oh, and no drugs in her system. Guess there was no fun before the big sleep.

And the icing on this miserable cake? The autopsy was completed on Sept. 13. Thirteen! Like, we needed more bad luck reminders.

So, she was found lifeless, didn't wake up when they tried that CPR stuff, and boom—gone. Officials have said she was part of the U.S. Air Force class of 2028 and on the women's track and field team. She even went to Thrall High School, where she did track, pole vaulting, was a cheerleader, and president of the student council. Guess the "high school over-achiever" seal of approval didn't save her from this cosmic joke.

Just another uplifting tale from the basement, folks. You're welcome.