Get Fit or GTFO: The Truth They Don't Want You to Know

You know what? Screw what everyone else says. You talk to 10 morons, you'll get 10 stupid opinions on fitness. Aerobics? Jogging? Dance? Biking? Yeah, right. Let me cut through the BS and tell you the only way to actually get fit.

First, lemme clear something up. Fit ≠ Thin. You hearing me, Karen? Thin doesn't mean you're not a weak-ass, injury-prone, low-metabolism having sack of crap.

So what's the magic solution? Resistance training. Duh. It's not rocket science, people. Lift stuff, get stronger. Here's why you shouldn't be a wimp:

• Strength and muscle tone: Ladies, chill. You won't turn into the Hulk. You'll just have nice, tight, defined arms and legs.
• Lose fat, not muscle: Like cutting the fat off a steak, but the steak is you.
• Strong bones: Yeah, granny, I'm talking to you. No more osteo-whatever.
• Mental health: Who needs pills? Just lift heavy shit.
• Sleep better: Another pill you can flush down the toilet.
• Fix your back: Stop whining about your back pain already.
• Fight diabetes: Screw you, diabetes. Not today.
• Cholesterol stuff: Meh, you know what I mean.
• Boost metabolism: Burn more calories. Science.

Now, some extra tips from your lord and savior, Trainer Fred:

1. Be unstable: Stand on one leg like a flamingo or use a wobbly board. Engage that core!
2. Add resistance: Carry dumbbells, wear a weighted vest. Be a tank.
3. Intervals: Short bursts of stuff. It's not hard.

For more of my wisdom, check out bbdforlife.com. Now, stop reading and go lift something heavy. You're welcome, idiots.