Hurricane Milton: Let's All Gawk at the Idiocy

As Hurricane Milton barrels into Florida, the internet's flooded with concern for people and their stupid pets. But amidst the chaos, one post went viral as a perfect example of peak human idiocy.

Posted on the Florida Highway Patrol-Tampa X (AKA Twitter for old people) account, the video shows some poor dog tied to a fence near Interstate 75 in Tampa. An officer approaches the half-drowned pup and even manages a "It's okay" despite this blatant animal abuse.

"Do NOT do this to your pets please," said the genius who wrote the post's caption. Gov. Ron DeSantis reposted the video because, you know, politicians love to jump on the bandwagon. "It is cruel for anyone to leave a dog tied to a post in the middle of an oncoming storm. FL will hold anyone who mistreats pets accountable." Way to state the obvious, Ron.

Watch the dumbassery here

Other posts showed horse owners painting their phone numbers on their horses' bellies. Because apparently, that's the "standard protocol."

"Let them go and they’ll find higher ground. It’s not cruel. Cruel is leaving them in a fenced pasture to drown," said @adversewitness. Maybe it's just me, but who leaves their pets behind during a hurricane?

Prepare what you can (if you're not too lazy)

"Preparation is really key," said Jessica Johnson of the Humane Society of the United States’ Animal Rescue Team. "Especially if you live in an area that is prone to disasters or hazardous events, having a plan and preparation is truly key."

Apparently, you're supposed to have some over-prepared pet kit with everything from vaccine records to a few days' worth of water and food. But let's be real, who has time for that when you're grabbing the last bottle of whiskey from the liquor store?

"If the water is rising, then you do what you need to do," Johnson said. Yeah, grab your pet and some leashes. Or don't. Who cares?

Tips for small, useless animals

Bring them with you, make a scene at the shelter, or just leave them to fend for themselves. Whatever floats your boat.

The ASPCA has a whole disaster preparedness page because people can't figure out common sense. Fill the bathtub with water, go to the highest spot in your house, blah blah blah.

Best (but who cares) practices for large animals like livestock and horses

If you're dumb enough to own horses, good luck. Always unlock the barn doors so they can flee to safety. Or just paint your phone number on them and let them roam free. What could go wrong?

• Prepare an emergency kit.
• Use non-toxic paint to label animals.
• Reinforce your house and barn.
• Remove barbed wire and potential debris.

Because nothing says "preparedness" like spray-painting your phone number on a horse.