Amazon's "Big Whoop" October Sale Ends Today—Grab Your Overhyped Deals Here!

Alright, listen up, you basement-dwelling cheapskates. Amazon's ridiculous October 2024 Prime Big Whoop Sale (like we need another reason to spend money) ends tonight, October 9, at 11:59 pm EST. It's been a hot mess of deals, and we likely won't see these "incredible savings" again until they decide to squeeze more cash out of us on Black Friday. So, let's dive into this consumerist nightmare and highlight the "best" last-chance deals.

Jump to the Amazon deals you actually want (if any):

• Overpriced Apple crap
• Tech that'll be obsolete in a year
• Tools for the man-cave you'll never use
• Fitness junk you'll regret buying
• Stuff you didn't know you didn't need
• Beauty products that won't make you attractive

Last-chance Apple deals (for the fanboys)

1. Apple AirPods Pro (2nd Gen) with USB-C

2. Apple Watch Series 9 GPS 45mm Smartwatch

"Save" 23% before you realize it's still overpriced! $329 at Amazon (Save $100)

3. Apple iPad (9th Generation) 256GB

Another "amazing" deal! $199 at Amazon (Save $130)

4. Apple AirTags 4-Pack

Great, more ways to lose your stuff!

5. Apple 2022 MacBook Air Laptop with M2 Chip

Perfect for writing whiny blog posts! $749 at Amazon (Save $250)

6. Apple iPad Mini (6th Generation)

Because small screens are so much fun!

Last-chance Amazon tech deals (that'll collect dust)

1. Amazon Kindle Scribe 16 GB

Read a book, losers!

2. QINLIANF Wall Charger Surge Protector

Protect your precious electronics from your own stupidity!

3. LG C2 Series 55-Inch Class OLED evo Smart TV

Watch crappy shows on a fancy screen!

4. Amazon Echo Show 8 (3rd Generation)

It's like a digital stalker in your home!

Last-chance Amazon deals on power tools (for the wannabe handymen)

1. Tietoc 6-Inch Cordless Mini Chainsaw

Save 46% on this glorified kitchen knife! $34.39 at Amazon (Save $45.59)

2. DeWalt 20V Max Cordless Drill/Driver Kit

"Top-rated" drill for less than $100? Wow, such a steal! $99 at Amazon (Save $79)

3. Worx Pegasus 2-in-1 Folding Work Table & Sawhorse

Portable workbench for all your nonexistent projects! $99.99 at Amazon (Save $50)

4. Fanttik E1 Max 3.7V Mini Electric Screwdriver

50-in-1? Great, more parts to lose! $44.07 at Amazon (Save $35.89)

5. Craftsman 6-Gallon Wet/Dry Portable Shop Vacuum

Clean up your mess, lazybones! $99.16 at Amazon (Save $24.80)

6. AikTryee Store Laser Level Line Tool

Finally, a tool to prove how crooked your life is!

Last-chance Amazon deals on fitness equipment and sporting goods (for the New Year's resolution crowd)

1. Sperax Walking Pad, Under Desk Treadmill

Walk off that Doritos guilt!

2. Callaway Golf 300 Pro Laser Rangefinder

Save 50% on another toy for rich dads! $149.99 at Amazon (Save $150)

3. Sunny Health & Fitness Mini Steppers for Exercise at Home

Step into a healthier you (for a week)! $45.99 at Amazon (Save $34)

4. Hoxwc Ankle Resistance Bands with Cuffs

Get ripped while watching Netflix! $18.99 at Amazon (Save $14.99)

5. MQRW Portable Push Up Board for Home Gyms

Push-ups made slightly less miserable! $39.99 at Amazon (Save $50)

6. Renpho Thermacool Deep Tissue Massage Gun with Heat and Cold

Massage your aching wallet! $87.99 at Amazon (Save $52)

Last-chance Amazon deals you never knew you needed (but definitely don't)

1. Bluetti AC180 Portable Power Station

Because you never know when the zombie apocalypse will hit! $459 at Amazon (Save $540)

2. Kuxisa Tire Inflator Portable Air Compressor

People are obsessed with this? Seriously?

3. Meta Quest 3 512GB Breakthrough Mixed Reality Headset

Escape real life—as if we need more help with that! $499 at Amazon (Save $150)

4. PuroAir HEPA 14 Air Purifier

Clean air? What a novel concept!

5. Clore Automotive Jump-N-Carry 1700 Peak Amp Premium 12 Volt Jump Starter

Save 62% on this thing you'll never use! $155.24 at Amazon (Save $251.05)

6. Zikibl Stone Diatomaceous Earth Bath Mat

Because Mom's basement deserves the best bath mat!

Last-chance Amazon beauty deals (lipstick on a pig, anyone?)

1. Crest 3D Whitestrips

Look like a celebrity (in your own mind)!

2. Grace & Stella Gold Under Eye Mask (24 Pairs)

Save 54% on these ridiculous eye masks! $15.99 at Amazon (Save $19.01)

3. Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask

Hopefully it'll knock you out cold!

4. Cosrx Snail Mucin 96% Power Repairing Essence

Snail slime? Really? That's where we are now? $12.99 at Amazon (Save $12.01)

5. Philips Norelco OneBlade 360 Electric Beard and Body Trimmer

Groom yourself into someone dateable! $51.96 at Amazon (Save $18)

6. Shark FlexStyle Hair Dryer

Dry your hair (and your wallet)! $239.99 at Amazon (Save $80)

7. Nicwell Water Dental Flosser Teeth Pick

Floss your way to happiness (yeah, right)! $27.99 at Amazon (Save $27)

Prices were accurate at the time this crap article was published but may change over time.