** Out-of-Towner Alert! **

Apparently, Gunnar Helm didn't get the Texan memo when he signed up for UT football. This Colorado cake-eater had the audacity to not know jack about the Red River Rivalry. Shocker.

"I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't know a whole lot about (the Red River Rivalry). My whole football domain was the Rocky Mountain Showdown. That was my big game to look forward to," he said, probably while eating some organic granola.

Helm and Barryn Sorrell, another non-Texan heathen from New Orleans, were the resident outsiders during UT's media availability on Monday. Sorrell at least had the decency to know about LSU-Alabama, but Helm? Clueless as a bat in daylight.

"Obviously it's a really big rivalry, a really big game and there's a lot of history behind it. Growing up, I did hear a lot about it," Sorrell said, trying to salvage some dignity for the out-of-towners.

Since gracing Texas with their presence in 2021, they've played in three Oklahoma-Texas showdowns. Helm caught his first career touchdown last year, but who cares? He still thought Colorado State was a real rival. Sorrell tackled five Sooners, which is probably five more than Helm can count.

Stay classy, non-Texans. Maybe one day you'll understand real football. Until then, keep enjoying your Showdowns and bayou brawls.