ACL Fest: A Paradise for Thieves and Idiots Alike

Oh, what a weekend it was! Austin City Limits Music Festival kicked off with a bang—and by bang, I mean 225 desperate calls to the cops and 70 offense reports. ** Way to go, Austin! ** 🎉🚔

So, what did we learn? Well, 42 out of 44 stolen items were cellphones. Shocker, right? I mean, who needs to secure their $1,000 device in a crowd of sweaty, drunk strangers? Darwin's law at its finest, folks.

Two geniuses got arrested—one for playing tag with the cops (and losing), the other because...well, someone asked nicely. 🤦‍♂️

Pro tip from the boys in blue: Keep your phones tucked away, and for God's sake, ZIP. YOUR. BAGS. You're in public, not lounging in Mom's basement.

Got robbed? Too bad, so sad. Report it here or call Austin 311. Expect a riveting conversation about how you should've been more careful.

ACL Fest Lost & Found: Where Dreams Go to Die

Dropped something while sprinting to see your favorite band? Surprise! ACL has a lost-and-found. Visit this magical land of faded hopes and broken dreams, or swing by the Guest Services booth.

before heading to the shows, register here. If you're lucky, you might get a call about your lost ID or wallet. Spoiler alert: It's probably gone forever.

Post-fest Lost & Found will be open Monday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., for your crying and begging convenience. Happy hunting, suckers! 🤘️🍀