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"Oh, Yippee! Austin's Little Brats Get a Bookmobile. Because God Forbid They Go Outside and Get Some Sun, Right?"
Oh, goody! Now those little brats can get their book fix while I'm stuck here with moldy walls and my mom's meatloaf. Can't wait for the Assistance League's next big donation: a time machine to escape this hellhole.
Published October 11, 2024 at 6:03am by Keri Heath
Austin School Librarians Finally Get Their Own Bookmobile, Because Kids Can't Read eBooks or Something
Oh joy, oh bliss! The Austin school district just got gifted a big yellow monstrosity of a van, cleverly disguised as a school bus. Buckle up, folks, because this is how they'll be delivering summer reading books to the little monsters angels next year.
The ** Assistance League of Austin** handed over the keys to this eyesore, affectionately named ALVAN, to Shannon Pearce, the district's library media services coordinator. Because what says "fun reading" more than a beat-up van with pictures of books plastered on the windows?
This summer book program, which has been around for a hot minute (10 years), gives out free books to kids. You know, to prevent the dreaded "summer slide"—because heaven forbid the little tykes actually enjoy their vacation without being force-fed education.
Pearce, in all her wisdom, shared this gem: "We have so many students who their primary access to books is the school library." Shocking, isn't it? Who would've thought that in the age of the internet, kids still rely on dusty old libraries?
But wait, there's more! The district used to rent actual school buses for this little adventure. But coordinating the logistics was a nightmare, according to Pearce. Can you even imagine the horror of showing up to an event in your own car to hand out books? The kids might actually think you're a normal person!
The Assistance League, in their infinite generosity, decided to fix this ** Earth-shattering problem** by gifting the district a $55,000 van. Yes, you read that right. Fifty-five thousand dollars for a glorified bookmobile. Isn't that just the cherry on top of the sundae of life?
And if that wasn't enough, they also threw in some rolling book racks and even ** donated $5,000 worth of new books** last year. Because who needs to spend money on, you know, actual education when you can just buy a fancy van and call it a day?
So there you have it, folks. The future of education is here, and it's a big yellow van. Let's all give a round of sarcastic applause to the Austin school district for this groundbreaking achievement.
For more thrilling news about bookmobiles and other riveting topics, stay tuned! Or don't. I don't care.
Read more: Assistance League of Austin gifts AISD book van to liven up summer reading programs