"Beyoncé wannabe, Mickey Guyton, finally gets her 15 minutes at ACL. Yeehaw, diversity points!"

Mickey Guyton Sings at ACL Fest: Groundbreaking or Gag-Worthy?

Got to hand it to Mickey Guyton—singing to a "Today Show" crowd isn’t exactly transcendental. Broad daylight, annoying dudes filming your every move, and a drummer in shades who thinks he’s the second coming of Buddy Rich.

But for this Nashville-bred, Texas-born country crooner, it’s all about the “good music” and “soaring vocals.” Ugh, spare me.

She even had the audacity to cover Beyoncé’s “If I Were a Boy.” Apparently, Bey thought she had a future in country. Bey sent her a bouquet and a thank you card, because of course she did. “Thank you for opening doors for me, queen,” it read. “Keep shining.”

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Anyway, Guyton yapped about how she grew up in Waco, Texas, and how this festival is her “dream.” Seems like she’s hitting all the clichés.

She even sang about her “journey” as a Black woman in a white-led genre. Blah, blah, blah. On “Better Than You Left,” she talked about some ex and finding herself as a mom. Apparently, her kid almost died from sepsis during COVID. I mean, talk about a buzzkill. She also mentioned her husband’s cancer scare. Because nothing says “fun festival weekend” like singing about near-death experiences.

Some genius even yelled “Free Bird!” after one of her songs. She covered Tina Turner instead. Yawn.

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Guyton’s music was apparently relatable enough for the audience to sing along. One of her new songs, “House on Fire,” was about emotional crap in relationships. Because who doesn’t love a good sob story at a music festival?

She even had the nerve to talk about writing drinking songs. As if tequila and whiskey weren’t covered enough already. Beyoncé can have her spirit, but stick to the basics, lady.

“Beer does not do well with my stomach,” she whined.

Then she went on about nightlife and boozy brunches. And you know what? She was right. How did nobody write “Rosé All Day?” Thankfully, she did.

Guyton’s optimism even managed to attract a white guy in a Rasta hat with holes in his shirt. Classic festival hippy.

She squeezed in an encore of “All American” after the crowd chanted “Mickey!” because even rebels have to follow some rules.

Dua Lipa for Leos? Tyler for Pisces? Because your zodiac sign totally determines which artist you should listen to.

Just another day in the life of Mickey Guyton—Rebel with a cause or just another fame-seeker? You decide. But personally, I wouldn’t waste my time.