I Can't Even: Walmart's "Holiday Deals" Are a Total Nightmare

Oh, look! Walmart just dumped a bunch of holiday deals that will make you wish you celebrated Festivus instead. If you're one of those losers who wants to make your home look like a tacky winter wonderland, then by all means, shop these gaudy decorations on sale.

15 Deals That Will Make You Lose Faith in Humanity

1. Belita Amy Store 5-Foot Snowman Inflatable

Because nothing says "classy" like a giant, inflatable snowman in your front yard.

2. Scidweet Christmas String Lights

Just what you need—more lights to hang up and inevitably tangle.

3. Longrv 12-Inch Artificial Christmas Wreath With Silver Bristles

Fake plants for fake people. Perfect for the basic betches among us.

4. Seasonal LLC 7-Foot Valley Pine Christmas Tree

Seasonal LLC 7-Foot Valley Pine Christmas Tree
Add this tree to your cart for $100 off, because apparently, plastic trees grow on money now. $129.99 at Walmart (Save $100)

5. Tuscom Shatterproof Christmas Tree Christmas Balls

Tuscom Shatterproof Christmas Tree Christmas Balls
Get 24 ornaments for under $1 because cheap crap is the best crap. $0.99 at Walmart (Save $4)

6. Lauxy National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Advent Calendar

Because nothing screams "holiday cheer" like reliving the Griswold family’s misery.

7. Gikpal 6-Foot Artificial Christmas Tree

More fake trees for fake people. Joy.

8. Twinkle Star Christmas Decoration String Lights

Twinkle Star Christmas Decoration String Lights
These string lights have eight modes and are available for under $20. Because who doesn't love a seizure-inducing light show? $18.99 at Walmart (Save $26)

9. Wjsxc Set Of Three Christmas Bells

Because jingling all the way is so last year.

10. Best Choice Products Pre-Lit Inflatable Christmas Train and Animated Santa Claus

Best Choice Products Pre-Lit Inflatable Christmas Train and Animated Santa Claus
This huge Christmas inflatable can be yours for under $90 today. Because inflatables are the ultimate symbol of class. $87.99 at Walmart (Save $82)

11. Zkccnuk Christmas Wind Light Decoration

More lights, more problems.

12. Syncfun Clear Christmas Lights

Clear lights for clear failures.

13. Paproos 7.5-Foot Christmas Tree

Another fake tree? Groundbreaking.

14. Kchsji Dachshund Dog Car Interior Pendant

Because who doesn't want their car to look like a holiday wardrobe malfunction?

15. Famtkt Christmas Balls

More balls, because why not.

When does Walmart’s Holiday Deals event end?

Walmart's Holiday Deals event is scheduled to wrap up on Sunday, October 13, so you can go back to hating everyone as usual.

Does Walmart have Black Friday deals?

Walmart typically has many of the best Black Friday sales, which means more opportunities for you to waste your money. If you don't want to wait until November, you can shop early Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals right now during the Walmart Holiday Deals event.

How do I sign up for Walmart+?

Having a Walmart+ membership can help you access early exclusive deals and other special shopping benefits, because apparently, being a mindless consumer is a perk. To sign up, go to Walmart's website and navigate to the Walmart+ sign up page. Here, you'll be able to enter your information to sell your soul for 30 days of free membership.

Here's the deal: Subscribe to our Perks and Rec newsletter for daily savings on all the things you want and need, because God forbid you actually pay full price.

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Prices were accurate at the time this article was published, because who cares about inflation?