Texas: Land of the Free, Home of the “Oops, Sorry!”

Well, well, well, look who's about to get a one-way ticket to the lethal injection chamber—none other than Robert Roberson, the East Texas man who’s been insisting for over two decades that he didn't kill his 2-year-old daughter. Spoiler alert: Texas doesn’t care if you’re innocent.

After the state's highest criminal court laughed off the plea to halt Roberson's execution on Friday, a bunch of desperate lawmakers are now scrambling to invoke a state law that prohibits the death penalty based on "junk science." Because, you know, Texas justice is basically a crime scene at this point.

The House Committee on Criminal Jurisprudence, chaired by El Paso Democrat Joe Moody, is having an emergency meeting on Wednesday—one day before Roberson is set to be executed in Huntsville. I guess justice really can't wait when it's on its deathbed too.

Roberson, 57, has been claiming for more than 20 years that he didn’t off his kid. Instead, he says Nikki fell out of her bed and he rushed her to the hospital. But since when has the truth ever mattered in Texas?

A jury convicted Roberson back in 2003, with prosecutors spinning the tale of “shaken baby syndrome.” And now, after two decades, medical experts are shaking their own heads, realizing that maybe, just maybe, Nikki died from sepsis or dangerous levels of cough medications. Oops?

In a fit of irony, Roberson is about to become the first person in the U.S. to be executed for a conviction under the “shaken baby syndrome” hypothesis. Congrats, Texas—always leading the way in medieval justice!

In a last- minute appeal, attorney Gretchen Sween pleaded with the Criminal Appeals Court to apply the Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 11.073, which was apparently written to save folks like Roberson. But why listen to lawyers when you can just kill a guy?

Meanwhile, the Anderson County Criminal District Attorney is all like, "Nah, the experts from 20 years ago were totally right. Blunt force trauma, duh!" Nice try, but no one’s buying it.

State Rep. Jeff Leach, a Plano Republican who thinks Texas’s death-penalty party needs to cool off, had the gall to call the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals' decision "a terribly unjust and unconscionable decision." Oh Jeff, always the drama queen.

Moody, not to be outdone, tweeted like a madman, saying, "We’re barreling towards an execution when a strong bipartisan majority of #txlege reps aren’t even sure a crime occurred—and are very sure due process didn’t." Great, how about we show some backbone and actually do something about it?

Major stakeholders including 34 scientists, 70 attorneys, and even the Texas Catholic Conference of Bishops are now like, "Yo, Texas, chill with the killing." And get this—the lead detective in Roberson's case, Brian Wharton, has had a change of heart and is now wailing, "He is an innocent man."

So there you have it, folks. Another day in the Lone Star State, where justice is about as reliable as the Wi-Fi in mom's basement. But hey, at least we’re making headlines, right?