entertainment

Broke losers too lame for ACL? Buy their merch, at least you'll look like you were there.

Oh, great, another line you can buy online: ACL merch. Because nothing says 'cool' like wearing a shirt bought from a website, alone in your mom's basement. Here's how to waste your money, nerds.

Published October 12, 2024 at 6:03am by Marley Malenfant

Austin City Limits Scam-Fest: How to Waste Your Money on Overpriced Crap

So, you missed the overhyped Austin City Limits Music Festival? Don't worry, they've got plenty of ways for you to throw your money at them and feel like you were there! Here's how to buy their ridiculous merch online:

Where to Buy Austin City Limits Music Festival Garbage Online

Buying ACL merch online is so easy, even your mom could do it. Here’s how to waste your hard-earned cash:

Need a break from being a loser? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle.

Visit the Official ACL Festival Website (aka the Money Pit)

The best place to get scammed is directly from their official website: store.aclfestival.com.

Browse through their overpriced t-shirts, hats, posters, and other useless junk featuring the festival’s awful branding and "artist collaborations." It's the most reliable source for authentic ACL crap.

Check Out the Online Store's "Limited-Edition" Collections

The online store often features "limited-edition" items and "exclusive" collections launched during or after each festival. If you’re looking to waste even more money, check the store after the festival for "unique" finds like artist-designed apparel or themed trash.

Can I Pay with Apple Pay or Google Pay?

Yeah, they'll take your money any way they can. The website offers multiple payment methods, including credit cards, Apple Pay, Google Pay, and other "secure" options. Make sure to review their ridiculous shipping policies and fees.

Can I Request a Refund?

Good luck with that! Any unopened/unworn item shipped to a USA destination can be returned for any reason within 14 days of the shipping date. But let's be real, you're not getting your money back.

When Will I Receive My ACL Merch Order?

According to the ACL Fest FAQ page, domestic orders arrive within 5-10 business days. International orders are a 2-6 week wait. Just enough time for you to regret your purchase!

For any questions about your order, you can email shop@aclfestival.com. Don't expect a helpful response.