Mommy Dearest: Rich Woman Cries Poverty in Sucker-Punch Suburbia

Oh, boo-hoo, grab the tissues! Christina Parker, some struggling six-figure salary real estate hotshot in snotty Mill Valley, California, is whining about being broke. "I am working so hard and I have less than $100 in the bank," Parker, 42, sobbed. Newsflash, lady: Welcome to the real world!

Rent, groceries, blah blah blah – but it’s her precious 2-year-old's daycare that’s busting her bank. A measly $3,000 a month – same as rent. Oh, the horror! How dare they charge her for spawning a brat!

Next year, she'll dump the kid into a pricier preschool and bitch about extra childcare costs. Maybe sell a kidney, Karen?

“I have a good job,” Parker sniffled, “but I am barely making it.” Cry me a river, princess. Try working two minimum-wage jobs like the rest of us schmucks.

Daycare costs are rising at twice the pace of inflation. Guess what? Everything's getting expensive, sweetheart.

The average brat-care costs more than rent in all 50 states and mortgages in 45, says this sad report. So, let's pop out more kids we can't afford! Brilliant!

Moms are already planning their votes around this sob story. Parker even signed a petition for the debate. Because God forbid parents take responsibility for their own choices.

The pandemic made a mess, but before that, parents were already screwed. Half of us live in "childcare deserts." More like deserts of common sense.

On average, morons spent 24% of their income on brat-care in 2023, says Care.com. Maybe don't have kids if you can't afford them?

To cover costs, parents are working more, moving, or drowning in debt. Over one-third wiped out 42% of their savings. Should've invested in condoms, folks.

Barbara Grant Boneta, 36, pays $1,300 a month in Austin, Texas. "It’s entirely too much.” Then quit breeding!

Christine O'Hare Barringer, 32, pays nearly $1,800 a month – more than her mortgage. "We’d love to have a second kid, but we can’t afford one right now." Duh.

More than half of mom voters worry about affording this crap, says KFF. News at 11: Water is wet.

"We have to think about child care as infrastructure,” says Brenda Shields, some Republican in Missouri. Sure, let's tax ourselves more for your stupid choices.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce says states lose billions because of childcare issues. Maybe they should've thought of that before outsourcing all the real jobs.

Voters want Trump, Harris to babysit their problems

Lisa Gray, 43, from Kansas City, wants to hear more from the presidential candidates on this mess. Because politicians never lie or make empty promises.

Child care is a "primary economic issue," Gray says. No, lazy parenting is the issue.

89% of voters want candidates to fix this. Good luck with that.

Biden wanted to waste billions on childcare. Harris wants a $6,000 credit for newborns. Free money, yay! Who's gonna pay for it? Not me!

Trump doubled the child tax credit but rambles about tariffs when asked about this crap. Typical politician.

Tax credit or cut taxes: Parents can't agree on a solution

"Voters are concerned about the cost of daycare," says Reshma Saujani from Moms First. No kidding.

Gemma Hartley, 36, from Reno, backs Harris’ tax credit plan. Big shock.

Patrice Onwuka, 42, from the Independent Women’s Forum, wants to keep more of her money. A novel concept.

Kelsey Bolar, pregnant with twins, thinks subsidies won't help. She's got a point.

Biden wanted to screw up the au pair program. Typical Democrat move.

In summary, everyone's screwed, and no one agrees on how to fix it. Happy voting, suckers!