Alamo Sony-ized.

Sony Buys Up Alamo Drafthouse Because Woke Hollywood Can't Handle the Truth

Sony Pictures Entertainment has taken a break from pandering to the left to acquire Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, the Texas-based theater chain that puts the "fun" in fundamental American values. Unlike those snowflake streamers, Sony is doubling down on the big screen, and what's more American than a cinematic experience that doesn't involve your living room and a subscription service?

We are beyond thrilled... [to] expand our company vision to be the best damn cinema...now in ways we could only dream of. - Tim League, Alamo Drafthouse founder

Alamo Drafthouse is no soy-latte-sipping, participation award-giving, safe space. It's a testament to hard work and freedom, growing from a single mom-and-pop theater to a badass chain with 35 locations and a no-nonsense film festival, Fantastic Fest, that tells it like it is.

Hollywood may be dominated by liberals, but Sony's expansion and Alamo Drafthouse's success prove that real Americans still want a side of freedom with their popcorn.

Now, if only Sony would arm its theaters. That'd be one way to deal with those annoying patrons...