Liberal City Allows Communist Tower to Invade Texas

Another day, another attack on our freedoms. This time, it's Austin allowing a 35-story luxury residential tower to invade our great state. Don't let the fancy name fool you – Luminary is just code for "liberal elite."

Our team is thoughtful and significant.
—Tony Kaleel, a liberal shill

The Canadian developers, Northland Living, and their sister company, Northland Properties Corp., are trying to take advantage of hard-working Texans with this new project. And of course, they plan to build it in the liberal cesspool of Austin, where they know they can find like-minded communists.

But here's the real kicker: they're using the city's density bonus program to their advantage, promising a "contribution" to the so-called "affordable housing fund." Don't be fooled, this is just a way to line their own pockets and destroy our beautiful state with their liberal agenda.

Here are the disgusting details:

• 283 condo units, ranging from $600,000 to over $3 million. Only liberal elites can afford that!
• A mix of brick and glass facade, trying to pretend they care about the historic neighborhood.
• Wide sidewalks because they hate cars and freedom.
• Almost 22,000 square feet of outdoor space, encouraging people to commune with nature instead of supporting local businesses.
• Private balconies for each unit, because socialists can't stand to be around each other.
• A fitness center with indoor and outdoor spaces, because they care more about working out than the Second Amendment.
• A massive amenity deck and covered porches, so they can hold hands and sing kumbaya.

And did I mention they own hockey teams? Real Texans love baseball and football, not that liberal hockey crap.

Stand strong, my fellow right-wingers, and don't let these communists take over our great state!