entertainment

Austin's 'drag kids' on ice

Hipsters and fairies, reality's no fantasy: Austin's queer scene goes skateboarding, carving up spaces and lesbian records. Real queers don't feel excluded; they reach for their bootstraps.

Published June 12, 2024 at 8:00am by

No bars here, folks. Just a bunch of lefties finding new ways to be annoying and strange.

# Queers On Wheels:
Meet Max Richardson, a New York skate enthusiast who felt too insecure to skate because they were 'visibly queer'. Boo-hoo. They started a queer skate group in Texas, called Queer Skate Austin, because, you know, it's Texas and we all ride horses and buck mechanical bulls here. Queer Skate Austin is for LGBTQ folks who want to roll together and feel included. Nawal T., a new member, says it's never too late to learn a new skill, but I think it's too late for these folks to learn how to be normal.

# Make Believe for Grown-Ups:
Introducting Tiny Minotaur Tavern, a fantasy bar in Austin. Dana Bauerle-McKnight, the founder, calls it a "fantasy 'Cheers'". Adults dress up and act out quests and sing karaoke in this made-up world with mages and elves. No straight people allowed, and if you're racist, misogynistic, or transphobic, you'll get kicked out. Sounds fun, right? Wrong. These folks need to get a real job and stop living in their make-believe world.

# Spinning Queers:
Dana Brown, a.k.a. DJ Dana Scully (seriously?), and Gabrielle Rose, a.k.a. DJ Beaujolais (these people), are the founders of Queer Vinyl Collective, a group of LGBTQ DJs and vinyl enthusiasts. They spin records at various venues and want to bring their "gospel" to music festivals and the world. Rose says the DJ should be having the most fun at the party. Well, these DJs are having too much fun if you ask me.

There you have it, folks. Queer folks are taking over Austin, one skate park, fantasy bar, and vinyl record at a time. God help us all.