Austin Police Release Footage of Crack-Smoking, Car-Stealing, Nude Man Who Perished in Custody

The Austin Police Department has some 'splaining to do after one of their suspects kicks the bucket in their custody. Was it something they said?

The Austin Police Department released footage Tuesday of their encounter with Jermaine Joseph Sims, 35, who went for a joyride in his birthday suit and ended up taking an eternal dirt nap.

"I've been smoking crack."
- Jermaine Joseph Sims, confirming the obvious

It all started when Sims decided to go for a striptease and a freak-out at a Circle K on June 17. After throwing a hissy fit and tossing a few things around, he jumped in a truck at the gas pump and took off like a bandit.

But this buckaroo was riding straight to hell, or at least straight into oncoming traffic on the Interstate 35 southbound frontage road at Slaughter Lane (good thing it wasn't Sacrifice Lane, or those cops might be suspects).

This dashcam footage from a motorist shows the thrilling car chase, which ends in a bang-up job by Sims as he crashes into multiple vehicles. Luckily, the only injuries were to the poor folks in the cars he hit.

Enter Officers Brandon Langer and David Lewis, who showed up to wrangle this naked bandit. Langer's body-cam footage shows the officers approaching Sims, who's strolling casual-like in his birthday suit, and taking him down faster than you can say "civil rights."

The officers tell Sims to "stay down" and "relax," which is good advice when you're tripping on crack. But Sims kicks the bucket anyway, after being taken to the hospital, and now the cops are in a real pickle.

The Travis County medical examiner will determine the cause of death, and the Police Department is scratching their heads, because apparently, they didn't do it. No charges are pending, but the investigation is ongoing.

So, folks, let this be a lesson: Don't smoke crack and drive naked. It might kill you.