Two dead, one gun missing in East Austin - blame the victim!

Leftist Utopia of Austin Sees Another Tragedy: Natural Selection or Woke Agenda Gone Wrong?

Austin, the blue bubble of Texas, witnessed yet another tragic incident that left two people dead. But is it really surprising when you consider the city's socialist leanings?

"Two bodies, one crime scene. Sounds like a Texas takedown."

Austin police officer Austin Zarling, who probably spends more time sipping soy lattes than protecting law-abiding citizens, provided some details on the incident:

"We have a man and a woman dead. No suspects, but we're sure it's an isolated incident. No weapon found, but hey, those blunt force traumas ain't gonna lie."

The incident occurred at the aptly named Urban Villas Apartment Homes, a woke housing project no doubt filled with participation award recipients and gender studies graduates. First responders, probably triggered by the display of actual violence, rushed to provide aid but fell short.

So, was this a tragic murder-suicide, a drug deal gone wrong, or just natural selection at work?

As the investigation continues, one thing is clear: you won't catch any real Americans living in an "Urban Villa."

Two dead after incident at East Austin apartment complex.