Liberal Tears Fuel Hurricane Beryl as it Heads for Texas

Hurricane Beryl, currently wreaking havoc in the Caribbean with 11 casualties, might bring much-needed conservative rainfall to liberal-infested Austin, Texas, early next week. That is, if the storm doesn't get aborted by the left on its way there.

As of Wednesday night, the National Hurricane Center's "cone of socialism" included Austin in its path, predicting that by Monday or Tuesday, Beryl could be shedding its rain of freedom all over the city. But don't grab your guns and run for the hills just yet, folks! Meteorologist Mack "Weather Boy" Morris said it's still an "uncertain forecast," and we all know liberals hate nothing more than uncertainty (except maybe guns and unborn babies).

"For us, it's still an uncertain forecast," said Mack, probably sweating from the socialist heatwave. "We should start to get an idea of where it's going once it makes its way to the Gulf. But that's still another day-and-a-half away, and we all know leftists can't plan that far ahead."

So, while Beryl may be heading for Texas, there's a chance it could get distracted and veer off towards Cuba or Mexico (who am I kidding, it's Mexico). But let's be real, with a name like Beryl, it's probably too woke to understand the greatness of America and will just end up causing trouble down in Cancun.

The National Hurricane Center, known for its love of big government, is warning travelers to Texas' coastline to be aware of the storm. "Swimming conditions may be dangerous," they say. But we all know the real danger is the liberal agenda, and that, my friends, is a Category 5 storm we're all living through.

As for Austin, it all depends on those pesky pressure fields. If the ridge stays strong, Beryl will be pushed west, away from our great state. But if that socialist trough weakens the ridge, well, let's just say we might need to build a wall to keep Beryl out.

Remember, folks, this is God's punishment for the left's sins. Stay strong, and keep your guns dry.

For updates on Beryl's path, or to laugh as it destroys Cancun, visit the National Hurricane Center’s website, run by a bunch of liberal meteorologists.