Liberal Austin Closes Roads for July 4; Patriots Light the Skies

Austin, Texas – The libs are at it again, this time shutting down our roads for their precious "symphony orchestra" and "fireworks." While we patriots enjoy celebrating our freedom and independence, do we really need to shut down roads to do it? Seems a bit much, but what else can you expect from these leftists?

The biggest celebration of the day will be at Auditorium Shores and the Long Center, where the lib-orchestra will perform and fireworks will light up the sky. The event starts at 4 p.m., but the road closures begin as early as noon. That's right, patriots, you might want to plan another route if you're driving through downtown Austin.

Here's a list of the roads that will be closed to hinder your freedom of movement:

• Stephen F. Austin Drive at West Cesar Chavez Street from 7-10:30 p.m. [They just had to throw ol' Stephen F. Austin in there, didn't they?]
• West Cesar Chavez Street from Guadalupe Street to MoPac Expressway from 7-10:30 p.m.
• B.R. Reynolds Drive and Sandra A. Muraida Way from West Cesar Chavez Street to Lamar Boulevard from 7-10:30 p.m.
• Local traffic only on West Ave, Nueces St, and San Antonio St from Second St to West Cesar Chavez St from 7-10:30 p.m.
• Guadalupe Street from West Fourth Street to West Cesar Chavez from 7-10:30 p.m. [No word yet on if they'll cancel the margaritas too.]
• South First Street from West Cesar Chavez Street to Barton Barton Springs Road from 8-10:30 p.m.
• West Riverside Drive from Lee Barton Drive to South First Street from 9 a.m.-10:30 p.m.
• Barton Springs Road from South Congress Avenue to South First Street from 8-10:30 p.m. [You thought you were going swimming? Think again.]
• Congress Avenue from West Cesar Chavez Street to Riverside Drive from 8-10:30 p.m. with CapMetro access only [Commies taking over CapMetro...]
• Local traffic only on Dawson Road, South Fifth Street, Bouldin Avenue, and South Third Street from noon to 10:30 p.m.
• Closed eastbound traffic on Barton Springs Road from South Lamar Boulevard to South First Street from 10-10:30 p.m.

Despite these attempts to ruin your day, TxDOT predicts light traffic on the I-10, I-20, I-35, and I-45 corridors. [URL: x.com/TxDOT/status/1808199717303541856?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet] So, my fellow patriots, fly your flags, stock up on guns and ammo, and enjoy the fireworks. God bless America, and god help Austin.