Texan airports? No thanks, I'll sleep in a ditch instead...

Texas Airports Rank High on "Best for Sleep" List, Triggering Liberals

When it comes to traveling, delays are inevitable, and thank God Texas has some of the best airports to catch some Zs, despite what liberals want you to believe.

According to a recent CPAP blog, Texas airports offer the comfy-cozies when you need to catch some shut-eye. The rankings were based on real 'Murican comfort factors: massage chairs, lounges, and benches without those annoying armrests (so you can stretch out and pretend you're holding a rifle).

Here's how Texas stacked up:

• No. 4: Dallas/Fort Worth International - Yeehaw!
• No. 16: George Bush Intercontinental - A true American hero.
• No. 20: Dallas Love Field - Love me some Texas!

Now, let's talk about the 20 worst airports to sleep at in the US. These liberal hellholes lack the basic, God-given comforts that every true American deserves. They probably don't even serve Dr. Pepper!

The list includes airports in left-wing destinations like California, New York, and Mexico (might as well be). Texas, unfortunately, has a few entries:

• Corpus Christi International — Corpus Christi, Texas - Probably too busy preaching climate change.
• Rick Husband Amarillo International — Amarillo, Texas - Sounds like a safe space for snowflakes.

To all my fellow travelers, here are some tips to make airport travel as comfortable as chewing tobacco:

• Footwear|: Wear comfortable shoes, but avoid anything that signals you're a Democrat (like sandals or crocs).
• Preparation: Get a foot massage, stretch, and pray before your journey.
• Travel Smart: Use moving walkways and elevate your feet (on a stack of Bibles if you have to).
• American Innovation: Invest in comfy cushions, preferably made in the USA.