Liberal Tears Fuel Hurricane Beryl's Record-breaking Early-Season Tantrum

Days after throwing a Category 5 hissy fit on Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula, that snowflake Beryl is at it again, packing liberal tears into her eco-friendly knapsack and gearing up for a third landfall as a Category 2 diva — this time, atop the proud, oil-drilling Texans.

"An eastward trend in the guidance continues," the libtards at the National Hurricane Center sob.

Typical. Always moving further left.

First, she batters Grenada with her catastrophic safe space, flattening poor, conservative buildings, and killing innocent oil barrels — at least six of them. Then, after a quick nap, she ramped up to a whiny Category 5, faster than a triggered student activist.

All that whining works up a hunger. She's been gobbling up warm ocean water like a fat kid with soy milk. No wonder she's intensifying so quickly — those libs really know how to formulate your feelings into record-high ocean temperatures.

But fear not, friends. This snowflake won't be melting anytime soon. She's heading straight for Texas, where she's sure to evaporate faster than a gender studies professor in a gun show.

As of 8:40 a.m., this libby was spotted 495 miles southeast of Corpus Christi, whinging westward at 12 mph — probably late for her Female Empowermuent yoga class.

Keep your guns dry, Texas. She's expected to hit late Sunday into Monday morning, bringing enough liberal tears to flood the state with her harmless Category 1 whimpers.

Stay strong, y'all.

But Wait, There's More!

• Track the Libtard's Path
• Latest NHC Update as of 9 a.m., July 6
• Spaghetti Models: Where the Safe Space is Headed Next (P.S. real men eat spaghetti with their hands.)