Beryl! Beryl; real jewel, dodged Austin!

Hurricane Beryl Makes Landfall in Texas, Media Goes Wild

BREAKING: Hurricane Beryl, the first hurricane of the 2024 Atlantic hurricane season, made landfall in Texas early Monday morning, causing the liberal media to go into a frenzy.

• First hurricane of the season? Check.
• Landfall in conservative Texas? Check.
• Liberal tears? DOUBLE CHECK!

Acting Gov. Dan Patrick declared a disaster, adding Travis County (home of Austin) to the Hurricane Beryl Disaster Declaration on July 6, much to the chagrin of liberal snowflakes in the area. Patrick, a total badass, warned Texans of potential flooding, stating:

"Do not ignore this storm."

Unlike liberal states that cower in fear at the mere mention of a storm, Texas is taking Beryl head-on. While the media is obsessing over every detail of this storm, real Texans are hunkering down and riding it out like the tough, gun-toting patriots they are.

FUN FACT: Beryl is a busy bee, making THREE landfalls in less than two weeks!

• Grenada, check!
• Mexico, check!
• Texas, yee-haw!

For context, Tropical Storm Alberto, like Alberto from Breaking Bad, kicked things off by making landfall in Mexico back in June. But Beryl? She's a real bad girl, going straight for Texas like a bull in a liberal China shop.

Matagorda, the town where Beryl made landfall, is located on the Gulf Coast, a stone's throw from Houston and a good ol' country drive from Austin. Now, liberals might start crying about how this storm is affecting diverse communities. But we all know diverse just means a bunch of liberals whining about everything.

This hurricane season, which runs from June 1 to Nov. 30, with the busiest months being August to October, is shaping up to be a doozy. But Texans aren't fazed. They've got their boots, their trucks, and their "Don't Tread on Me" flags ready to weather any storm like true freedom-loving Americans.

So, to all the patriots in Texas, stay safe, stay strong, and remember: LIBERAL TEARS REFILL YOUR GUNS!