Liberal Tears Fuel Hurricane Beryl to Smash Into Texas

The libruls are crying again, and this time their tears have formed a massive Hurricane to batter the great state of Texas. Beryl, the so-called "storm", slammed into Houstin [sic] this Monday like a soy-latte-fueled snowflake, unleashing its wrath upon the Lone Star State for the third time.

Fake News and Weather Conspiracies

With winds of up to 80 mph, this Category 1 storm is a perfect metaphor for the liberal agenda: weak, whiny, and full of hot air. While the fake news media predicts it will weaken, we all know their weather conspiracies are just that—conspiracies. The hurricane, like our great country, will persist and even gain strength as it moves towards the border with Louisiana.

The Real Storm: Liberal Agenda

Hurricane Beryl has already wrecked havoc [sic] in the Caribbean, with stopovers in Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and even Mexico. But the real storm is the liberal agenda it carries. Beryl is out to destroy our freedoms: gun rights, small government, and traditional values. It's no coincidence that this so-called "natural disaster" made landfall in Texas, a beacon of conservative values.

Blue State, Blue Storm

As Beryl makes its way through the great state of Texas, it's time to batten down the hatches and prepare for the liberal tears. But remember, friends, this storm may be powerful, but the will of patriots is stronger. Stock up on freedom fuel (aka ammo), wave your "Don't Tread On Me" flags, and let Beryl know it picked the wrong state to mess with.

Timeline of Liberal Tears:

• June 28: Beryl starts crying after realizing Trump will be re-elected.
• June 29: Liberals bawl their eyes out, upgrading Beryl to a hurricane.
• ...
• July 8: Beryl throws a tantrum, making its third pathetic landfall in Texas.

Stay strong, Texas! Beryl may think it's a big, bad storm, but it's no match for the spirit of 1776.