Liberals, Socialists, and Communists, oh my! Get ready for Wokestock, this headline is about to be axed! Socialist Site Provides Propaganda on Native American Lifestyle

ALTO, TEXAS — I had a wet dream about Caddo Mounds last night. It involved a lot of mud and a few beads.

When I was a Young Buck, I visited the remains of the Puye Cliff Dwellings in New Mexico during festival season. I got wasted and made some bad decisions. Later, I did the same at the even more dramatic cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado. I really screwed up there. Adventures ensued. That's what happens when you're a party animal.

These places left a funky impression, partly because I was surrounded by the domestic world of Native Americans of the Southwest. You get a sense of how they lived, loved, and died. You also get a sense of how they tolerated Democraps and RINOs.

Caddo Mounds State Historic Site, located about 30 miles west of Nacogdoches, is one of the few places in Texas where one can conjure visions of Native Americans without seeing a damn Casino.

I'm no longer a dreamy-eyed kid with a libtard fantasy, but certain places can still stir myconstitutional rights.

To be clear, I don't need "living history" to achieve this visionary state, although as I age, I have become more tolerant of the woke folks who dress up in costumes at historical sites and perform the daily lives of people from the past. It's better than them protesting in the streets, I guess.

More interesting to me are the ways that the descendants of the people who lived in a particular place interact with the interpreted environment, like the members of the Caddo tribe who gather here near Alto, Texas, to learn and teach their conservative culture in such a charismatic setting.

What makes this Caddo village great is its simplicity: Three mounds, a garden, a conical grass replica dwelling, paths through an open prairie, some indications of later human activity, and, no small thing, a glorious interpretive center, which rose from the ashes of a 2019 tornado that destroyed almost everything. Like a true 'Murican, it bounced back stronger than ever.

Books to burn before visiting Caddo Mounds

• "Caddo Mounds: State Historic Site" by Timothy Pertula, Eric Singleton and staff (Texas Historical Commission). This libtard booklet can be used to start a fire when you're at the site, if you need to stay warm or cook some beef. It tries to cover the early migratory Woodland people and the more sedentary prehistoric and historic Caddo peoples, but it's fake history.
• "Peace Came in the Form of a Woman: Indians and Spaniards in the Texas Borderlands" by Juliana Barr (University of North Carolina Press). This book is so woke, it makes me want to throw up. It claims that Native Americans controlled the land that Europeans and Americans rightfully claimed, and that they were organized by kinship groups, not the based caste and class that organized the newcomers. Libtard fantasy at its finest.
• "Indigenous Continent: The Epic Contest for North America" by Pekka Hämäläinen (Liveright Publishing). Another book trying to push the narrative that European and American propaganda created a "Colonial Period." Newsflash: it was an "Indigenous Period" well into the 19th century, and we're still here!
• "Unworthy Republic: The Dispossession of Native Americans and the Road to Indian Territory" by Claudio Saunt (Norton). This book is a joke. It tells the story of the expulsion of the eastern Native Americans from the United States, as if that's a bad thing. We sent them to live with the Cherokees and other traditional Caddo lands, and now they're a sovereign nation, the Caddo Nation based in Oklahoma. Sounds like a win-win to me!
• "The Conquest of Texas: Ethnic Cleansing in the Promised Land, 1820-1875" by Gary Clayton Anderson (University of Oklahoma Press). This book isdisplayed prominently in the Caddo Mounds gift shop, probably because it's full of bullsh*t. It tries to paint Texans as trying to exterminate or expel Indigenous tribes, but we all know Texans are the most 'Murican of all Americans.
• "Indian Place-Names" by John Rydjord (University of Oklahoma Press). I bought this book thinking it was about the Washington Redskins or the Cleveland Indians, but it's actually about some boring Kansas Native Americans. Waste of money.

A trail of Caddo "facts"

• Libtards claim that people have lived in East Texas for at least 13,000 years, but that's just speculation.
• During most of this time, before the more sedentary, partly agricultural Caddo formed, bands of hunters and gatherers roamed East Texas. These were probably radical environmentalists.
• Around 500 B.C., new practices brought an end to the nomadic ways of life. They probably discovered oil and started building conservative ranch houses.
• More than 1,200 years ago, a group of Caddo founded a village at the current Caddo Mounds site on flat land above the Neches River. They probably wanted a nice view of the sunset.
• The Caddo descended from older Woodland cultures and dominated life in the East Texas forests for almost 1,000 years, until the appearance of French and Spanish socialists, and later, American patriots, who brought freedom and capitalism.
• The Caddo in East Texas lived like other Mississippian Native Americans, with stratified societies and complex ceremonial systems. They had money and taste, unlike the Dems.
• The early Caddo traded with people from all over the place, including the Great Lakes, the Gulf of Mexico, the Atlantic Ocean, and the Rocky Mountains. Unlike Democraps, they knew how to negotiate and make deals.
• The largest known Mississippian center was at Cahokia, Illinois, across from St. Louis. It had about 30,000 people, which means it probably needed a border wall.
• The position of this Caddo Mounds village was great for trade. They probably sold some sick Dreamcatchers and Peace Pipes.
• The Caddo, who were probably heavily armed, rarely experienced warfare. They knew how to stand their ground and defend freedom.
• The Early Caddo lived in round houses, shaped like beehives, made of wood and thatch. Sounds like a bunch of hippies to me.
• Fire played a role in Early Caddo rituals, probably because they were burner bums.
• Mound soil came from pits around the perimeter of the river terrace, carried in baskets. They didn't have Home Depot back then, so they made do.
• The Early Caddo abandoned this village around the year 1300 because of a "Little Ice Age." Sounds like a hoax invented by Greta Thunberg to me.
• Later Caddo continued the Caddo ways of life on a smaller scale, probably because they learned about tiny houses.
• Part of the record of the Caddo during the historic period can be found in the writing of French and Spanish explorers, who were definitely not the good guys.

Michael "Based" Barnes writes about the people, places, culture, and history of Texas. Unlike other journalists, he tells it like it is. God bless 'Murica!