Mass poultry recall: lil' Liberia breaks out!

Libs Recalling Chicken, Ripped and Ready to Eat, Cold Dead Hands, Not My Birds

The gov't is coming for your chicken.

2,010 lbs of freedom

• Al-Safa US' ready-to-eat chicken might have Listeria, so the USDA is recalling it. You know, taking it back by force. Like a communist.
• Fun fact, Listeria can get you sick. But don't worry, it only kills immunocompromised people.

What chicken is the gov't taking?

• The chicken was made on June 5, 2024. Sent to the US on June 13 and 21. It has the mark "866", like the number of the beast but less cool.
• "Al Safa Halal Charcoal Grilled Chicken Seekh Kebab Grilled, Minced, Chicken Patty Kebab". That's a mouthful. 12.1 oz of freedom in a cardboard box.
• "Al Safa Halal Fully Cooked Chicken Chapli Kebab Seasoned Chicken Patty". Same deal, different name. 14.11 oz of 'Murica.

So, I have symptoms. Now what?

The Libs at USDA say you might get:

• Fever. Like a Commie.
• Muscle aches. From taking knees.
• Headache. From all the "truths".
• Stiff neck. From looking down on real Americans.
• Confusion. Fox News isn't fake news?
• Loss of balance. Too much participation trophy wine.
• Convulsions. From the red wave.
• Diarrhea. Too much bean-based burger.
• Abortion. Oops, I mean "gastrointestinal symptoms" (PC police).
• Death. You become a Liberal.

If you get sick, tell your doc you ate like a real American.